Luck
by G.Storm59
Summary: Gokudera is forced into an arranged marriage by his dad when he meets a young man named Takeshi Yamamoto. Chaotic and confused emotions fly through Gokudera as he struggles to reconize what he's feeling and if his arranged marriage will allow it. 8059
1. Chapter 1

"_Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity."_

_-Anonymous_

"Hayato."

Gokudera didn't even flinch as he heard his father call out to him and felt his foot kick him in the leg. He blinked an eye open, rather annoyed that not only did his father know where to find him but had also interrupted his nap. He didn't bother to sit up; since he was rather comfortable sitting on the blanket of leaves under his favorite maple tree with his arms behind his head.

"What do you want?" He snapped irritably. His father looked down at him with emotionless eyes.

"Don't you get bored, sitting around doing nothing? You're a disgrace to the family!" Gokudera sighed, having heard this speech a million times before. However, when Gokudera stayed silent like he usually did, his father changed it up a little bit. "So, that's why I've organized an arranged marriage for you."

"What?" Gokudera sat up, glaring at his father with shocked and anger filled eyes. "You're forcing me into a marriage?"

"I need an heir." His father shrugged as if it was nothing. "If an arranged marriage is the only way I'm going to get one, then it's sure not any skin off my back."

Gokudera growled, ready to just pounce on this bastard. What right did he have to force him into marriage? He was twenty-four for crying out loud!

"You have no right!" Gokudera snapped. "I'm twenty-four if you don't recall!" His father's cold eyes glared down at him, his expression almost mirroring his son's.

"As long as your lazy ass lives under my roof, you're under my control. Even if you left, it's too late. I've signed the papers." Gokudera gaped and then sighed in defeat. Fuck. Just fuck.

"Do I at least get a picture of her? A description of what she's like?" Gokudera asked, wiped of any emotion. All he could feel was defeat and helplessness. He could feel his freedom slipping away with every ticking second.

"I find that totally irrelevant. You'll meet her once, before the wedding, in three months. Hopefully that will give you enough time to fall in love with her," his father smirked. As he walked away, he called one last thing without turning around. "Enjoy your freedom while you can, Hayato."

Gokudera sighed heavily and went back to staring at the sky. Enjoy his freedom eh? Nothing left to do, he guessed.

Time to head into town.

* * *

><p>Namimori was rather old-fashioned, as towns in Japan went. You could access almost anywhere in the town on foot and hardly anyone used a car to get anywhere. Over half of the population didn't even know how to drive. The buildings were fashioned like the town was stuck in the Edo period and occasionally you could see a samurai or two walking around.<p>

Gokudera loved exploring this town. Even though he'd lived here for ten years, he'd never get tired of exploring all the shops. He especially liked visiting the museums, the sushi shops, and of course the library. It had almost every book you could ever think of; even a whole section for foreign language books. Gokudera loved going there when he felt like being soaked in his original language. What made it popular was that it was the only modern building in the whole town. Funny how modern was special here.

Sometimes just walking down the streets was enough for Gokudera, like he was doing right now. He almost had this street memorized; he stared so intently at its architecture every time he was there. Which was what he was doing when he bumped into someone.

It was a hard crash and Gokudera found himself falling onto the ground surrounded by a pile of his books. He was about to get up and curse when the person he'd bumped into fell on top of him. He found himself trapped under long tanned arms and a head of black spiky hair filled his face. The person whimpered in pain slightly before they realized that they had fallen on a very angry someone and jumped to their feet.

He was a tall man of about Gokudera's age with dark caramel brown eyes and his mouth seemed to always be twitched upwards in a smile. He held his hands in front of him like he was defending himself from a bear.

"I'm so sorry about that! I couldn't see where I was going with that big stack of books blocking my view… Ah, my books!" The man scrambled down to the sidewalk where his stack had scattered and where Gokudera was still sitting up, rubbing the back of his head in pain. He snorted at the attention span of this loser but something propelled him to help pick up his books.

"Damn right you couldn't see where you were going! What's with all the books anyway?" Gokudera asked, picking one up and reading the title. He raised an eyebrow and put How to Be a Good Husband for Dummies back in the stack the man was setting back up.

"Ah… I have an arranged wedding coming up and I really don't know if I'm ready for that kind of commitment. So one of my lady friends lent me these books, which she's making me return to the library myself!" The man laughed awkwardly and lifted the stack which Gokudera estimated to be about ten pounds.

Seeing him stumble slightly and him peeking around the books to see switched Gokudera's helpful mode back on. He took half the pile and started heading down the street to the library. The man looked at him, his eyes full of shock but also gratitude. Gokudera huffed and pretended he couldn't see him.

"Funny, it seems like arranged marriages are the norm these days," Gokudera commented, keeping his eyes on the space in front of him. The man gave him a strange look before laughing.

"You're getting married too?" When Gokudera nodded, the man continued. "What's the reason for your arranged marriage? My dad's forcing me into marriage to get me off my lazy butt!"

Gokudera glanced at the man, not believing that someone was actually in the same situation as him. From what he could tell, the man was telling the truth.

"Same, except the bastard seems to think he'll get an heir by doing it." Gokudera replied, climbing up the stairs to the library. The man whistled at that, and followed him up the stairs.

"You call your father a bastard?" The man laughed as they returned the books. Gokudera gave him a look as they both left the library. The man stretched, reaching his long arms up into the air.

"Hey, thanks so much for helping me carry those! Climbing up those stairs would have been impossible! Oh, where are my manners? I never introduced myself!" The man rambled before sticking out his hand to Gokudera. "I'm Takeshi Yamamoto! Nice to meet you!"

Gokudera stared at Yamamoto's hand like it was dirty. He had learned a long time ago in Italy not to introduce yourself to random people on the street, but this was Japan right? And Gokudera felt a certain pull to this man that he couldn't really explain.

So, going against everything he had ever been taught, Gokudera took Yamamoto's hand and shook it.

"Hayato Gokudera."

Yamamoto repeated the name, trying it on his lips, and smiled, a large beaming one that almost gave Gokudera eye cancer.

"Well, Gokudera-kun, if you don't mind my company could I invite you to lunch to repay you?"

Gokudera was about to open his mouth to refuse, saying he didn't need repayment, but Yamamoto was already grabbing his arm and dragging him down the street, getting many weird stares from the people passing by. Gokudera felt his face flush and he tugged frantically at his arm, trying to free himself. But Yamamoto had a strong grip and Gokudera had no choice but to be pulled along.

Yamamoto took them to a popular Italian restaurant that Gokudera often went to himself. When they sat down and ordered, Yamamoto started rambling about everything he could think of; from funny stories when he was little to his favorite baseball team to his absent mindedness and beyond. Gokudera was overwhelmed with all the information he was receiving, which was unusual because, if it was anyone else, he would just tune them out and not even pretend to listen.

But there was something about this man. Something about him that made Gokudera listen intently to what he was saying and kept him on his mind, long after Yamamoto had paid the bill.

**(A/N) This is a random story that popped into my head one day. Just showed up out of nowhere. This is one of my rare third persons, and I plan it to go on for awhile so wish me luck! Also, perspectives will change every once in a while. **


	2. Chapter 2

"_If one is lucky, a solitary fantasy can totally transform one million realities." –Maya Angelou_

Gokudera stared at his ceiling, yesterday replaying over and over in his head.

After Yamamoto had paid the bill, making Gokudera just a little bit guilty for eating a lot, he had insisted on walking the other man home. Gokudera had flushed in embarrassment, for reasons he couldn't really explain, and had rejected the offer and fled before Yamamoto could start dragging him places again. Not that he knew where Gokudera lived.

Now he was sitting on his bed, his abandoned lunch of toast and waffles lying on the table beside his bed. Well, breakfast for him. His sleeping habits didn't exactly fit in with those of normal people, but he could mainly blame that on his insomnia. However, last night had been different.

For the first time in his life, Gokudera had felt fatigued and strangely electrified at midnight. That was three hours too early for him. He usually stayed up until three in the morning, reading some sci-fi novel until he got tired. But he didn't need a book, for his thoughts were filled with that man he had met earlier in the day.

Takeshi Yamamoto.

For some reason, he couldn't get that man out of his head. He couldn't stop thinking about his ever-lasting blinding smile and just the plain _nicety _that he'd never experienced from anyone else before. Something about Yamamoto had made the bad-mannered, short-tempered, mocking Italian help him with his books.

Now he was like a firefly, flickering in and out of Gokudera's head; making the Italian feel something he never had, and couldn't identify.

And here he was, the next morning after that eventful day and after a full night's rest, _still_ thinking about him. Gokudera would be disgusted with himself for getting all caught up in some guy he barely knew, if it didn't bug him that he couldn't identify what he was feeling.

Gokudera had really only experienced three emotions in his life: annoyance, boredom, and hate. What he was feeling now didn't fall under any of those categories in any possible variation. It was simply something he'd never felt and there for could not identify.

A sudden urge to pee finally made Gokudera leave his bedroom. He headed for the bathroom, noting that the house was strangely quiet. Shrugging, glad that he was finally alone without his father in the damn house, he decided it was nothing to be worried about and climbed down the stairs. It was when he walked down the hallway leading to the bathroom that he started hearing strange noises.

Gokudera tensed. This didn't sound like his father, and the only room down this hall was the bathroom. And he knew damn well that his father didn't make sounds in the bathroom. He crept down the hallway, staying as quiet as he could in the old creaky house. As he got closer, he recognized the noises to be barely restricted moans. This was where Gokudera stopped, too disgusted by what he thought was happening to even thoroughly process it.

Gokudera had experienced sex before. It was something he didn't like to think about, something that would never happen again, and something his father would never find out about. So he knew plenty well what it sounded like.

And these were the very noises coming from his bathroom.

As much as he really didn't want to disrupt whatever lovely moments his father was experiencing in there, this _was_ the only bathroom in the house. And Gokudera seriously had to pee. Taking a deep breath and shielding his eyes in advance, he opened the door.

A woman screamed as Gokudera stared pointedly at the doorframe, not wanting to look at whatever scene was before him.

"Holy shit, Hayato! What the hell are you doing here?" His father's angry, and slightly husky but Gokudera was going to ignore that, voice sounded and he heard the sound of someone quickly zipping up their pants.

"Excuse me for living here," Gokudera grounded out through gritted teeth. "This _happens _to be the only bathroom in the house. Besides, the bed is a plenty worthy place to have sex in."

He heard his father growl and he stepped aside as his father pushed past him with a barely covered naked woman as the fled upstairs. Gokudera looked back into the bathroom, growling in disgust as he could tell exactly where they'd decided to make love.

He closed the bathroom door and decided to go pee outside.

* * *

><p>Gokudera decided he didn't want to risk running into his father and his lover anywhere, so he climbed back inside his bedroom window. Plopping onto his bed again, Gokudera picked up the half-eaten toast and took small nibbles of it. He wasn't really hungry but he needed something to munch on.<p>

As he sat there eating, he tried not to think of his father's hobbies. It was purely disgusting when he'd do that; well aware that Gokudera was home. And this wasn't the first time he'd done it either. Plus, even if it was childish, Gokudera still felt like his father was cheating even when his mom was dead and gone. He was still suffering her loss while his father was off having sex with the first woman he met in a bar.

Sighing and pushing those thoughts out of his head, Gokudera set his toast back on the plate and fell into a half-conscious haze. In his state of mind, his dreams started to turn a little funky.

He was taking a shower. He felt the warm water and steam wash over him in a scalding crescendo as he ran his fingers gingerly through his hair. He closed his eyes in comfort when he felt arms go around his waist. Strangely enough, he wasn't disturbed and instead leaned into the chest the arms were connected to. He felt someone kiss his forehead and he bent his head back to look right into the face of Yamamoto. Yamamoto, who was also naked, smiled down at him and kissed him passionately.

As it started to get heated, Gokudera woke up with a start. He was covered in sweat and his pants were clenched rather painfully. He sat up in haste, gasping and trying to calm himself down.

No. Gokudera refused to believe that he'd had a wet dream about some guy he'd barely met. It wasn't possible! They were both men, he barely knew him, and….

Gokudera couldn't think of another reason. He placed his hands over his face and lay back down, staring up at the ceiling in disbelief. It must have just been that he'd been thinking of his father having sex and Yamamoto at the same time so that they mixed.

It couldn't be that Gokudera was in love with this guy.

**(A/N) Oh, the old cliché shower with steam scene XD Anyway, that's the second chapter! I hope you enjoyed it :D From Yama's POV next chapter~**


	3. Chapter 3

"_Maybe love is like luck. You have to go all the way to find it"_

–_Robert Mitchum _

_Yamamoto found himself walking towards the bed, drawn forth by the beautiful creature lying there. His skinny jeans fit so well that it showed off every curve and his shirtless torso reflected the moonlight. His beautiful silver locks fell across his face in a seductive manner as Yamamoto sat on the bed, transfixed by his beauty. Slowly, Yamamoto found his hands snaking around the other man's waist drawing him forward into a passionate kiss. _

_Pushing him onto his back, Yamamoto climbed on top of the man, breaking the kiss as he fumbled with the man's belt…_

Yamamoto woke with a start, momentarily unsure of where he was. He focused on his surroundings and found himself hunched over the counter of his father's sushi restaurant. He must have fallen asleep there helping out his father the night before. As his eyes focused Yamamoto saw his dad was already up and running, getting ready to open shop. He yawned and peeled his face off the counter, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.

He'd dreamed about him again.

It was always the same dream. That man he barely knew would be lying on a bed in some seductive pose, and Yamamoto would always be lured by his beauty and they'd start to kiss. He always woke up before they went further too. That man, the one who'd helped him with his books.

Hayato Gokudera.

The name was engraved in his mind. Every time he closed his eyes, Gokudera's face would pop into his head. He was always blushing or giving off that smile that, when Yamamoto looked at it, seemed so rare and precious.

Yamamoto had never seen himself as gay. When he was younger, he always thought of himself with his future wife. Not husband. He didn't have anything against homosexuals, of course, he just didn't think of himself as one.

But now he was having wet dream after wet dream about this _man_. He'd be lying if he said he wasn't in love. It had just come at the worst time.

He buried his head in his arms with a groan. He'd never been in love before, and the one time he falls it's when he's about to get married! Talk about disappointment.

He looked up sadly, watching his dad bustle around the kitchen. He thought maybe he should help, since that's what he was there for, but he was too lost in self-pity to move. Just watched as fish, seaweed, wasabi, rice, and other sushi ingredients were laid out on the counter; prepared for any customer's needs.

When the pressure in his lower area got to be too much, Yamamoto finally stood up painfully from his stool and hobbled up the stairs to the private toilet.

He came back down a few seconds later, once he had fully relieved himself, and headed into the kitchen to help his dad prepare. Tsuyoshi, being the ever observant parent, noticed his son's downcast mood right away.

"Anything the matter Takeshi?"

Yamamoto just smiled and shook his head. "I'm fine dad."

Tsuyoshi didn't believe him for a second, but he decided to drop it. He'd seen his son hobble up the stairs, so he had an idea of what was going on but didn't push it.

Yamamoto tried to forget about Gokudera for a few seconds by busying himself with the dishes; making sure every plate and glass was perfectly clean for customer use. When he finished, he sat down at the kitchen table with his thermos of milk and downed it greedily.

Tsuyoshi opened shop, putting the noren outside to say that they were open. He then came back inside and sat across from Yamamoto at the table.

"… You've fallen in love haven't you?"

Yamamoto almost spit out his milk, reflexes the only thing keeping it in which caused him to choke on it instead. He coughed and hacked, Tsuyoshi only looking on in mild concern. Once he'd finished coughing, Yamamoto cleared his throat and blushed slightly.

"H-how'd you know?"

Tsuyoshi pointedly nodded at Yamamoto's lower area and he blushed even deeper. To be seen by your dad in a condition like that was truthfully very embarrassing. Tsuyoshi only sighed, a pained look on his face.

"I'm really sorry Takeshi. I would take it back if I could, but…" He choked on his words and Yamamoto felt his own eyes well up as he placed his hand gingerly over his father's.

"I know old man. I'm not mad at you; I know it was necessary. I," Yamamoto's eyes clouded in pain at the thought of how he could ever do this. How he could even start, "just have to forget about him."

Tsuyoshi only raised an eyebrow slightly at the "him" part but it soon went down as he walked over to hug his son. Yamamoto was only semi-surprised by this gesture, but hugged his father back tightly as tears fell down his face.

They sat there for a few moments before the door dinged. Tsuyoshi immediately turned his expression to business only and Yamamoto stood to take the customer's order. He wiped a tear from his eye and tried to keep his voice steady. The customer ordered, but Yamamoto wasn't really focused on her. His thoughts were fighting back and forth as he kept thinking and trying to stop thinking about Gokudera. But how could he?

How could he forget the only person he'd ever loved?

**(A/N) AH YAMAMOTO'S PAIN ;A; This chapter was, personally, hard to write so I hope it turned out okay! I'm wondering if I should change the genre of this… oh well :P Hope you enjoyed and thanks for reading!**


	4. Chapter 4

"_Luck affects everything; let your hook always be cast; in the stream where you least expect it, there will be a fish"_

–_Ovid_

Gokudera didn't want to get up.

He'd gone out into town a couple times since the time he'd met Yamamoto, and everywhere he went there was something there to remind him of him. All he wanted to do was forget about that idiot! And the fact that he might be in love with….

Gokudera shook his head. No, it wasn't true, so there for he wasn't thinking about it. He sighed and rolled over to stare out the window.

The sun was rising, giving a golden tint to the mid-autumn leaves. It made everything look golden and perfect, so opposite of what Gokudera was feeling at the moment that it made him sick to look at.

He needed to get out of town, go away for awhile.

* * *

><p>Gokudera liked riding the bus. He couldn't really say why; he just did. It comforted him to sit in those leather seats and just let the bus take him wherever. He liked the feeling of not being in charge of his life for once, and just seeing where the bus would take him. This was what he was doing now. He closed his eyes in comfort, hoping the bus would take him as far away as it could from Namimori.<p>

His peace was shattered in all about five seconds.

"Hey, it's you!"

Gokudera's eyes snapped open. He didn't even need to _look _at the person. He knew by the voice exactly who it was and that it was calling him. Well shit. He was hoping to get away from it all, but it didn't look like _that _was happening. He turned his head to look up at Yamamoto who was holding onto one of the bus straps, since the bus was already pretty crowded, and smiling down at him. Gokudera felt his heart skip a beat which caused him to frown as he looked away from Yamamoto's smile. It felt like he was staring into a flashlight.

"It's good to see you!" Yamamoto said, completely shattering Gokudera's attempt to ignore the man. He looked back up warily at Yamamoto and almost growled.

"What are you doing here?" Yamamoto's smile faltered for a split second and that was all it took for Gokudera to feel guilty, even when the smile came right back on.

"Is it illegal for me to take the bus?" Yamamoto joked, moving aside as more people squished onto the bus. Gokudera didn't reply and looked down again, trying to hide his blush of guilt.

"Hey, we could save space if I take your seat and you sit on my lap," Yamamoto suggested out of the blue, as if the whole idea was completely normal.

Gokudera's head shot up, disbelief that this guy could even _suggest _something like that with a straight face spread all across his features. He searched his face, trying to see if he was joking or not.

"A-are you serious?" Gokudera stuttered, his mouth flapping. Yamamoto looked at him, utterly surprised, before he blushed; as if just realizing what he'd said.

"Ah… um… I-I mean… Y-you don't have to if you don't want to…" Yamamoto was completely flushed now, most likely mentally punching himself for saying something so stupid and embarrassing.

Gokudera looked up at Yamamoto, utterly astonished. That, however, didn't stop the thought floating through his head that Yamamoto was pretty cute when he blushed. Gokudera shook his head angrily, not at all liking where his thought process was going. However, then his brain started thinking, what if he _did _sit on his lap? It would save space, and didn't Gokudera want to?

Before he could stop his brain, Gokudera found his mouth saying, "Well… okay. It reserves space, after all."

The two stared at each other in disbelief. Even Gokudera was surprised that he'd agreed.

"Umm… o-okay." Yamamoto stood awkwardly and Gokudera wondered what he was waiting for when it came to him. Embarrassed even more, Gokudera did his best to stand up, his face getting buried in people, so that Yamamoto could take his seat. When he did, Gokudera nervously let himself sit back down.

Gokudera could see the crowd fill in the space that Yamamoto had taken before but he was mainly focused on how… _comfortable _Yamamoto's lap was. Before he realized what he was doing, he leaned back into Yamamoto's chest.

He felt the other flinch and shift before two arms hesitantly wrapped themselves around his waist. Gokudera's eyes widened in surprise as Yamamoto's chin rested on his shoulder blade and Gokudera's head was forcibly leaned back into Yamamoto's shoulder. Gokudera couldn't believe how… _natural _this all felt. How perfectly their bodies fit together.

He felt people staring at them as he wondered where to put his arms. There wasn't really a comfortable place to put them unless…

Blushing even more, Gokudera hesitantly put his arms so that they rested over Yamamoto's and almost fainted as heat radiated through his body. He was absolutely sure he was going to hyper-ventilate, but this felt too good. Too right. He wasn't even surprised when Yamamoto dug his face into his neck and Gokudera found himself falling asleep.

The last thing that registered in his brain, that he couldn't be sure actually happened or if he was already dreaming, was Yamamoto kissing his neck gently.

* * *

><p>Gokudera was jerked awake as Yamamoto stood up. He looked around blurrily, too warm and comfortable to focus just yet.<p>

He didn't even notice that he was being carried until they were off the bus.

When he did, his eyes widened in surprise and he struggled. If he wasn't embarrassed before, which he was, he was completely flushed now. He looked up at Yamamoto, who had this goofy content grin on his face, and hit him lightly in the chest.

"H-hey! You can put me down now!"

Yamamoto flinched, almost jumping three feet into the air. He looked down at Gokudera in shock as if he hadn't even realized that he'd been awake. It took him a moment for what Gokudera had said to register in his brain and he blushed and set Gokudera down on his feet.

Gokudera wobbled for a second before regaining his balance. By then, Yamamoto had already continued walking and Gokudera, having nowhere else to go, followed him. They walked in a silence heavy with awkwardness. Gokudera couldn't believe he'd sat on the lap of his secret crush, no scratch that, of this close-to stranger in public. He glanced up at Yamamoto who seemed to be just as awkward as he was. He looked down again when Yamamoto spoke up.

"Um… I'm sorry if that wasn't your stop, but you were sleeping so peacefully and I didn't want to wake you…" Yamamoto stuttered, pointedly looking in the opposite direction.

"That's okay. I didn't really have a destination in mind anyway," Gokudera answered, also looking in the opposite direction.

"You just ride the bus to see where it takes you?" When Gokudera nodded, Yamamoto turned to look at him thoughtfully.

"I've always wanted to do that. Whenever I feel like getting away from it all, I always think about taking the bus as far as it goes." He laughed, running his hand through his hair. "Never really did it though."

Gokudera agreed with him, but didn't say so out loud. The two continued walking in silence before Yamamoto broke it again.

"H-hey do you want to come eat at my family's restaurant? That was the last bus and you seem kind of tired…"

Gokudera thought about it. He _was_ tired and he _was _hungry but he wasn't sure if he wanted to be around this awkward atmosphere any longer.

Before he could actually answer though, Yamamoto had stopped and Gokudera looked up at a restaurant entitled Takesushi and figured he didn't have much choice now. He shrugged at Yamamoto and followed him inside.

The restaurant, sushi shop as it turned out, had one of the best décor Gokudera had ever seen. It wasn't fancy, but had bamboo decorations and old fashioned wooden floor boards. It really touched the heart of someone like Gokudera, who couldn't get enough old-fashioned décor to ever be happy. He looked around the place, awed enough to let Yamamoto get away with the amused smirk of laughter he tried to hide.

Gokudera sat at the bar, checking out the wooden ceiling, as Yamamoto went behind the counter. He leaned against it as he waited for Gokudera to stop admiring and order. When he finally did, he ordered salmon toppings and a glass of sake.

"Sorry, but I'll have to see your ID…" Yamamoto looked embarrassed, for who knows what reason, and Gokudera took out his ID to show that he was indeed over legal drinking age. Yamamoto smiled and started to fix his order.

He purposely cut the salmon in front of Gokudera, since that's what most sushi restaurants did to show their quality. Gokudera snorted since it was obvious Yamamoto was trying to show off, and laid his chin on his fist to watch.

* * *

><p>By the time Gokudera was done with his meal, he had two glasses of sake in him and he was EXHAUSTED. He leaned drowsily on the counter as Yamamoto served some other customers. He watched through half slit eyes as Yamamoto's old man performed the same show off-y technique that Yamamoto had.<p>

He didn't even know he'd fallen asleep until someone shook his shoulder. He blinked his eyes into focus, for the third time that day, and saw Yamamoto smiling down at him.

"You're free to stay here as long as you'll help me get the guest futon out."

Gokudera wasn't sure what he said in reply, but it must've been some kind of agreement because Yamamoto's smile grew wider and he started heading upstairs. Gokudera grunted and got up from his stool, carrying his wine glass with him, and followed Yamamoto into the genkan where he took off his shoes and headed into the residential area of the building. They climbed up some stairs and Yamamoto held a door open for Gokudera, indicating that he go through.

Gokudera found himself in a room, the walls covered inch-to-inch with baseball posters. The whole _room_ was baseball themed. The blanket had a baseball bat on it, there were player figures sitting on the bookcases, all the books were about baseball, there was baseball equipment in the corner, a signed jersey hung in the corner, hell; the pillow _itself _was a baseball.

"Is there a single thing in here that _isn't _baseball themed?" Gokudera snorted, walking fully into the room. Yamamoto laughed and closed the door behind him, walking over to the closet.

There _was_ one thing that wasn't baseball themed. It was sitting on Yamamoto's desk, next to a mirror and, surprise surprise, a baseball catalog. It was a framed photo of Yamamoto when he looked to be about ten years younger. He was smiling his usual bright smile and had his arm wrapped around a short kid with spiky brown hair who was also laughing in the photo. They looked to be the best of friends and they shot peace signs at the camera.

"Sorry, I play professional baseball and I was pretty obsessed when I was younger," Yamamoto explained in response to Gokudera's earlier sarcastic question, opening the closet and beckoning Gokudera over to help him with the futon. Gokudera came over and helped him pull it out.

"Is that your friend in that photo over there?" He asked, nodding his head in the general direction of the photograph. Yamamoto developed a sad smile as he looked to see what picture Gokudera was talking about.

"Yeah, that's my friend Tsuna. We used to hang out a lot in middle school," he replied, getting a distant look on his face.

"Don't hang out with him much anymore?"

"Well, he's dead."

"…O-oh." The awkward silence was back again. Gokudera didn't know why he was so bad at talking to people. Every time he opened his mouth he said something to make the other person remember something they'd rather not.

"So you work here part-time?" Gokudera asked in desperation to change the subject, grunting as they had to lift the futon before setting it down onto the ground.

"Yeah, I play baseball in the spring, practice in the winter, and work here in the summer and autumn." Yamamoto's face brightened a little as the topic was taken off Tsuna and back to his work. He went back into the closet to pull out some blankets, which Gokudera also helped set on the bed, and a pillow. Gokudera frowned, since something didn't click right in his mind.

"Wait- I thought you said that your dad was forcing you into marriage because you were a lazy ass? You don't sound like a lazy ass to me," Gokudera remarked, sitting down in a chair as he emptied his wine glass and set it down on the desk.

Yamamoto's eyes suddenly clouded and he looked down at his hands. He didn't respond for a long time, just stared down at his twiddling thumbs. Finally, he looked up and Gokudera could see that he looked like he was about to cry.

"I'm sorry Gokudera… I lied about that… The truth is," Yamamoto paused to swallow and he looked so helpless that Gokudera wanted to go over and hug him, "My dad's going bankrupt. I have to marry a rich girl so that we can pay off our debt."

Gokudera stared at him in shock. The store seemed to be doing fine! And Yamamoto was so happy and upbeat about everything that it was surprising that something like this was going on in his life.

"What about your baseball money?"

"My dad wants me to keep that for myself. He says that if I at least have money if we go bankrupt, then we'll be okay. He doesn't even pay me for working here…" Yamamoto trailed off, staring wide-eyed as Gokudera dug around his wallet. He pulled out as much money that he had on him and shoved it at Yamamoto. He wasn't entirely sure why, but he felt a strong urge to help the man.

"Gokudera-! I can't take that-" Despite Yamamoto's refusal, Gokudera just growled and continued to shove it towards Yamamoto.

"Just take it! I want to help you-!" Gokudera cut off as Yamamoto grabbed his arm with a sharp hold and shoved the money back at him. He looked him seriously in the eyes, but Gokudera could see that he was grateful for the thought.

"I can't take that."

Gokudera sighed and put the money back in his wallet. Well, at least he could say he tried. But that didn't help his guilty conscious as Yamamoto sat back on the bed in a sad haze. There must be something he could do for him…

Before he could fully process what he was doing, Gokudera was walking towards Yamamoto who was sitting in a depressed slump. Yamamoto jerked in surprise as Gokudera lifted his chin and firmly pressed their lips together.

Yamamoto's lips tasted like salmon and mint and Gokudera felt himself melt into the taste. He leaned into Yamamoto, which seemed o wake him up from his surprise-filled haze since he started kissing Gokudera back. Gokudera's knees gave out as Yamamoto wrapped his arms around his waist and Gokudera fell onto Yamamoto's lap; practically straddling him.

Yamamoto shifted back slightly so that they were both sitting properly on the bed before Gokudera brought his attention back to him. They both had the thought at the same to take it further so that their tongues met in a clashing frenzy.

Gokudera shifted slightly, and he felt Yamamoto's whole body shiver with pleasure. Yamamoto's tongue froze and Gokudera pushed his way into Yamamoto's mouth, exploring anything and everything. Yamamoto groaned slightly and lost to his urge.

Gokudera felt himself being pushed back onto the bed, slightly shocked but let it happen. He completely drowned in pleasure, unable to stop it even when clothes started being thrown onto the floor.

**(A/N) I've had so much time to write and upload this week! It's great! This chapter is so much longer than the others which I'm happy about! I seriously think listening to Sekai Ichi Hatsukoi/ Junjou Romantica music while I write this is definitely affecting it somehow xD Anyway, I hope you enjoyed! Yama's POV next chapter~**


	5. Chapter 5

"_Some luck lies in not getting what you thought you wanted but getting what you have, which once you have got it you may be smart enough to see is what you would have wanted had you known." _

_–Garrison Keillor_

When Yamamoto woke up the next morning, Gokudera was gone. The only thing that told Yamamoto that it wasn't just another dream was some change in the empty wine glass (Yamamoto couldn't decipher if it was supposed to be a tip or just Gokudera stubbornly helping him out) and a ring sitting on the desk.

He hadn't noticed the ring at first. He'd been too busy trying to get drunk in the feeling of last night again; when everything had seemed perfect. No agonizing over his arranged marriage that would ruin his first love, no trying to forget everything about Gokudera. Just him, Gokudera, and their love. Well, lust Yamamoto supposed as he dug his face deeper into his pillow.

Last night had been his first time. He wondered if it'd been Gokudera's too. Yamamoto smiled slightly, loving everything about that silver-haired man that he couldn't seem to get enough of. He would love it if it'd been his first time too.

It was then, when he threw his arm onto the desk to get the glass of water that usually sat there, that he felt the ring. Frowning slightly in puzzlement, Yamamoto rolled over as he took the ring in his hand. He looked at it in amazement, admiring all the intricate design used in it. It must take a lot of skill to make that. Yamamoto vaguely remembered that he'd gotten it caught in his hair last night and Gokudera growled at him to be careful with it since it was handmade.

Then, something clicked in Yamamoto's usually slow brain. Gokudera had wanted him to be careful of it. Maybe he'd given it to Yamamoto to remember him by. To remember this night, when they were separated by marriage.

Something pulled at Yamamoto's heart and he closed his fist over the ring, drawing it to his chest, as he cried into his pillow. Gokudera did feel the same way. Last night hadn't just been because Gokudera pitied Yamamoto. It'd been real.

Yamamoto sniffled and stared at the wall. He didn't want to leave this bed in a million years. If he was here, he didn't have to face the outside world that seemed to want to pull him and Gokudera further and further apart. Or watch as it let them get together and so close before it was all ripped away. Plus, this bed still smelled like him. Like gunpowder and cinnamon. A scent Yamamoto would've otherwise despised.

But Yamamoto could hear his father bustling around downstairs, getting ready for another day's work. He sighed and rolled over, having mixed emotions about his back pain as he stood up. It hurt, but it was the only physical thing left of last night (he wasn't ashamed to say that he'd been bottomed; even if it was just a little bit). He didn't want it to go away after awhile.

Feeling more despaired than he'd ever felt in his life, Yamamoto pulled his clothes on and shuffled down into the kitchen. The once happy room where Yamamoto had so many good times with his dad and Tsuna turned depressing as he walked in. He hated this atmosphere, but what could he do?

It would be impossible to forget Gokudera now. After getting so close to him, sharing everything with him, it would be impossible for him to even think about getting anywhere near someone who would be called his wife. A _woman._ The word disgusted him now. It was so opposite of his Gokudera (he felt he had a _right _to call him his) who was so explosive, but beautiful at the same time.

Yamamoto let out a heavy sigh as he immediately headed for the sink to do dishes. Maybe he really was gay.

If Tsuyoshi noticed his sour mood, or the fact that he was limping slightly, he kept it to himself and the two just worked together like usual. But Yamamoto was stony and ignored any of his dad's attempts to make conversation with him. He didn't feel like talking right now.

He kept clenching and unclenching his hand that he'd put the ring on (right-hand middle finger), as if he had to check every few seconds that it was still there. His hand automatically moved to put the change into the cash register, but he stopped; his hand dangling over it as his fingers clenched tightly around the coins.

Gokudera had left him this. It felt… _wrong _to keep it in a cash register, mixed in with all the dirty money of the customers. Yamamoto's eyes clouded in pain, very aware of his father staring at him, and moved to put the coins into his pocket.

The coins weren't much, but it was almost all he had left of… Hayato. That's what he'd wanted him to call him last night.

* * *

><p>Yamamoto walked through the day in a slump. He did everything automatically, probably driving all the customers away with his bland and depressing waiter mood. Usually he was the one bringing in all the customers, with his bright smile, but Yamamoto couldn't bring himself to smile today. Like he was betraying Gokudera somehow.<p>

At the end of the day, once they'd finished closing up shop, his old man sat him down at the table and took a deep breath.

"Takeshi, I was thinking that maybe we should cut you out of this marriage." Yamamoto had planned to ignore whatever his father had to say, but he looked up at this. Shock didn't even begin to explain his emotion at the moment.

"W-what?" He stuttered. His father couldn't be serious. This was all they had left; everything up to this point would be meaningless if they backed out now! "Dad, we can't do that! We'd go bankrupt!"

Tsuyoshi stared down at his son with sad eyes, his decision so torn. "Is that really worth sacrificing your happiness? You looked so happy, happier than I've ever seen you since Tsuna died, when you were with… Gokudera right?"

Yamamoto didn't really know what to say to that. He wasn't surprised that his dad had picked up that their visitor yesterday had been the one, but he hadn't expected it to change anything. He stared down at his hands and thought it over. He so much wanted to jump on his father's offer, to be free and find Gokudera. Find him and get him to get out of his marriage somehow and be with him.

But he couldn't do that. He would drown in regret if he was sitting with his love peacefully while his father struggled with bankruptcy. It would tear him up inside. But wouldn't he regret missing out on having Gokudera too-?

Yamamoto looked up at his father, suddenly determined, no matter how much pain was in his eyes at his decision.

"Dad, keep me in the marriage. We need the money, and how can I ever prioritize something that I've only had for a day over something I've been with my entire life?" It killed him to say it and his father could probably tell. But Yamamoto didn't avert his eyes, even as he felt tears well up, because he wanted to show his father that he was serious and that there was no going back now.

Tsuyoshi stared at his son, so much happiness and pride in his gaze at raising such a strong character. He hugged his son tightly (it seemed like they were having a lot of moments like that lately) and rubbed his back in small, comforting circles.

"Thank you," he whispered in his ear. "Thank you."

**(A/N) Another heartwarming experience between Yamamoto and his dad ;A; In case you didn't understand the part about "his back pain from last night" that Yama was talking about, they took turns topping each other because they wanted to do as much in one night as the could since it would most likely be their last time ever doing something like that together. Anyway, I'm probably not going to be able to update this story again before the holidays, so I wish everyone happy holidays!**


	6. Chapter 6

**(A/N) This one is actually split into two POVs, the other one being Hibari's. I would also like to warn that there will be hinting to one-sided 1859. I'm sorry if you don't like this pairing, but it's part of a plot development later. You can just ignore the hints if you want.**

"_Luck never gives; it only lends"_

–_Swedish proverb_

Gokudera couldn't believe he'd let it go that far. He'd even _topped _Yamamoto for a little bit! He had just seemed so down, and Gokudera had to cheer him up somehow since it was his fault!

He stayed up late; long after Yamamoto had fallen asleep, agonizing over his actions. He'd… he'd wanted it too much. Even if he'd known that having sex with Yamamoto would make it harder to forget him and just harder when they both got married to someone else, he wouldn't have been able to stop.

He… loved Yamamoto too much.

Finally he decided he needed to leave right then and there. He gently moved Yamamoto's arm off of him as he stood up from the bed. Pain shot up his back, centering in his hips, and he almost fell on top of Yamamoto as he tried to stay upright. Shit, he'd forgotten about how much this hurt.

Yamamoto whined slightly as Gokudera left the bed and he froze, staring back to the baseball player. But Yamamoto was still asleep, his eyebrows slightly furled. Gokudera sighed in relief and searched (he was so glad no one was awake to see him hobbling around like this) around for his clothes, trying to tell the difference between which ones were his and which ones were Yamamoto's in the dark.

When he was confident that he had on the right clothes, Gokudera limped back to the sleeping figure and ran his fingers through Yamamoto's black silky hair. His features softened like they never had before, and he leaned down to kiss Yamamoto's forehead gently.

"I love you," he whispered in his ear before he stood up again. His back was yelling at him to stop moving but he ignored it. He could deal with the pain and it'd go away after awhile.

Gokudera searched his person. He wanted to give Yamamoto an emblem of some sort; to show that he cared and not just that he pitied him. He thought for a second before he suddenly remembered to put on his earrings. He'd taken them off last night since Yamamoto had complained that he couldn't nibble his ear if they were on. Gokudera had rolled his eyes at that but had taken them off anyway.

Once he'd finished putting on his earrings, he suddenly had an idea and took off the ring that had tangled in Yamamoto's hair last night. He looked at it fondly (he rather liked that ring) before setting it on the table next to the bed.

He started to walk out the door before he remembered one more thing. Digging out his wallet, he pulled out as much change as he had that he wouldn't need for the bus and put it in his empty wine glass. No matter what Yamamoto insisted, Gokudera was going to help him out. At least if last night wasn't enough, he surely could be a little better off with the coins.

Looking around the room of his love one more time Gokudera finally left, quietly closing the door behind him. He trailed through the house, putting on his shoes as he got to the genkan. He walked through the dark restaurant and exited the building.

The cold air on his face was a relief from the flushed heat of Yamamoto's room. However, it got _too _cold in just a few heartbeats. He shivered against the cold wind slicing through him, since he'd forgotten to grab a coat that morning, and hugged himself tightly as he walked down to the bus stop.

When he got there, he squinted at the sign to see when the last bus was leaving and swore when he saw that the next one wouldn't come until 5:00 the next morning. Gokudera looked at his watch and both him and his sore hips groaned as it said 2:24.

He sighed as he started walking, limping would be a better word, towards the nearest town to rent a room, since he had no idea where he was. He could catch a bus home later in the morning, but what mainly concerned him now was getting out of the cold and onto a bed where he could safely heal his hips.

* * *

><p>It took almost two hours for Gokudera to reach the nearest town and another twenty minutes to walk to the nearest hotel. What could've only been a fifty minute walk was multiplied three times due to Gokudera's hobbled state. By the time he actually collapsed onto the hotel bed, his hips were killing him and all he wanted to do was curl up in a hole somewhere and die.<p>

He whimpered in pain as he slammed his head onto the pillow, the clocks glowing red letters teasing him with the thought that the first bus came in the time it took him to walk to the nearest town. Eventually lying on his stomach put his hips in more pain than they already were and he rolled to his side with a groan.

Gokudera was exhausted but he just knew that his insomnia was going to pick this time to be a bastard. Plus, the pain in his hips was too much for him to just forget about and focus on tiredness.

He buried his head in his pillow and actually hoped that he'd pass out from the pain.

* * *

><p>He must've laid there for three hours. But when he looked at the clock, it told him that in reality it'd only been an hour. He groaned and decided that he might as well take the bus now, since it didn't look like he was getting sleep anytime soon. But when he tried to move, his hips absolutely refused to assist him.<p>

Gokudera felt like screaming. But since it was only around 6:00 AM, and he didn't want to attract attention to himself, he just slammed his pillow over his head. He swore the world hated him. Not only did it not want him and Yamamoto to be together, but it wouldn't even help him out in his weakened state.

He sighed and went back to staring at the wall. His thoughts started shifting to Yamamoto and last night, him being too tired to stop them. As he saw Yamamoto's smiling face in his mind, Gokudera finally started to drift off.

Suddenly the pain in his hips intensified and he cried out, gasping in pain. His vision swam and he almost fainted before he came back into focus, gritting his teeth. He realized that he'd been trying to curl up, like he usually did since he moved around in his sleep a lot, and had unintentionally caused himself breath taking pain.

Well that was great. Just great. He couldn't take the bus, he couldn't move, and now he couldn't even sleep off his problems! Was this his punishment for giving into desire yesterday? Gokudera growled and wished someone would just kill him now.

* * *

><p>Gokudera dozed on and off for awhile, each time being awakened by his hips screaming in pain. He was finally able to sleep for a solid two hours before he woke up again.<p>

His hips were still sore, but he found himself able to move and walk fairly decently. He stood up from the bed, his vision swimming at the lack of sleep and still very noticeable pain.

Luckily, he had been assigned to the bottom floor so it wasn't too hard to check out and limp to the nearest bus stop. By checking the sign, he found that he was in an outskirt of Namimori that was the last one before hitting wilderness. Gokudera was rather comforted by the long bus ride that he could heal his hips on to home.

He grimaced. He didn't want to go home. There was nothing there, except his bastard of a father, and he didn't want to go to such a horrible place right after the best few hours of his life. Besides, he needed to get drunk anyway. It was the first step in trying to forget Yamamoto again.

Squinting at the sign again, he noticed that a few stops away from this one was where his only friend lived. It was the only outskirt that actually had a public middle school; the main city only available to the people who could afford private school.

Gokudera sighed. Visiting his friend wasn't much better, since they had fallen out a while ago and could hardly be considered friends anymore, but it was better than going back home. He guessed it couldn't be that bad to touch base. Besides, he knew his friend never really wanted to fall out. It was just Gokudera being stubborn and one night that he'd just wanted to forget about.

He started feeling nervous as he hobbled up the steps of the bus, barely able to make it on at all. He started to rethink his decision but he reasoned it couldn't be that bad. After all, Gokudera needed someone to pick him up after he drank himself stupid.

And he knew Kyoya Hibari would make an exception for him.

* * *

><p>"… You horribly drunk herbivore."<p>

Gokudera's head was collapsed onto the bar's counter and he was giggling madly for reasons he couldn't really remember. After eight beers, you didn't really have much common sense. His head felt light and free, even when previously it had felt like it was full of mud, and he could hardly think straight, but he knew Hibari when he heard him. He hiccupped and swiveled his chair in random directions, trying to face Hibari but couldn't quite pinpoint where he was.

"Hello to yous too, Hibai~" Gokudera slurred, laughing as he started focusing on how fun it was to spin in this chair and less on why he had started spinning in the first place. If he was sober, he would've felt Hibari's mood darkening dangerously. But what the hell; he was drunk and happy and couldn't consciously remember why he'd been depressed anyway.

Hibari snorted in disgust before hoisting Gokudera's arm over his shoulder while assisting him to stand with his arm around his waist. Gokudera giggled happily and mumbled something about flying but for some reason, Hibari's arm on his waist put him off. He felt a barely noticeable ache down there as well, but couldn't remember how he'd hurt himself. Well whatever, it'd all come back in the morning~

Gokudera burped and laughed as Hibari visibly flinched away from him; as much as he could while still carrying the man. He heard Hibari growl as Gokudera started poking his cheek playfully, but he was too drunk to get the warning.

Hibari sighed and gritted his teeth, comforting himself that they were almost to his house where Gokudera would hopefully pass out without puking on anything.

* * *

><p>Of course that dream was short lived.<p>

Once they had stumbled into Hibari's genkan, and Hibari had closed the door behind them, Gokudera had let loose the contents of his stomach; right on any of the poor shoes that happened to still be sitting there. Hibari was passed angry, his Namimori Middle shoes had been the only shoes sitting there and had of course gotten the full blow, but he tried to keep his cool as he placed the now unconscious man on the couch.

Hibari went to his kitchen, petting Hibird as he walked by, and wet a towel to clean off Gokudera's chest and his genkan. He squeezed the access water out of the towel, maybe a little more than necessary, and walked to his Namimori shoes first. Even if Gokudera was important to him, Hibari was still stingy that the man had thrown up all over his precious shoes. Once he was done cleaning his shoes and the other parts of the genkan that had gotten hit, Hibari finally turned his attention to the man deeply unconscious on his couch.

His eyes softened; it was only a slight difference but it was still noticeable to people who knew him well (which was practically no one, but who cares). He had gotten a newly wetted towel and started cleaning the barf off of Gokudera's sweatshirt. Hibari recognized it as one that Gokudera was quite fond of so he took great care in making sure he got it completely clean.

Once it was clean, Hibari carefully took the sweatshirt off Gokudera and hung it up on his coat hanger to dry. After he was finished, Hibari sat in the chair across from the couch and stared at him. Memories that he hadn't thought of in a while started coming back and he smiled the tiniest of smiles.

It truly had been a long time.

**(A/N) The next chapter is going to have a time skip of about three months; just as a forewarning! It's going to be split POV again, like this chapter, except with Gokudera and Yamamoto. Now we finally get to meet the fated wives~ Thanks for reading!**


	7. Chapter 7

"_Luck is believing you're lucky." –Tennessee Williams_

Gokudera would've done _anything _to get out of seeing his future wife. He could hardly care less about whoever the woman turned out to be since he simply wasn't interested. Besides, he didn't trust love anymore.

But, no matter how much he despised it, his father had literally forced him into the car and drove him to the restaurant where he'd be meeting his fiancée. Gokudera tsked and chewed the inside of his cheek, trying to think about everything but where he was going and _who _exactly he was trying to think about at the moment. He had worked so hard to forget about him; he wasn't about to let his guard down so easily!

Ironically enough, the restaurant his father had so nicely chosen out was the one he where he'd first had lunch with that man. Why his father was such a natural-born bastard, Gokudera will never know. Gokudera glared at the restaurant that he had now come to hate and avoid, but got out of the car when his father threatened him. He tried to wait until his father drove away, but the man waited for him to enter the restaurant and Gokudera sighed, defeated.

He walked into the Italian restaurant, looking for the woman described to him. She was supposed to be waiting in the restaurant's little lobby area, but was nowhere in sight. She was either late, or already in the restaurant.

Gokudera's eyebrow twitched. She better as hell not be late. He hated people who were late. He was going to walk into the restaurant, to check it out and see if she was there, when a hand grabbed his elbow. Gokudera whirled, his first instinct to punch the person who dared touch him without permission. But, going against everything he knew, he forced himself to stop his fist inches away from the woman. She didn't even flinch as she blew out her cigarette smoke, right in his face.

Gokudera felt anger rise up inside him. This woman seemed to be full of everything he hated, he decided, as he looked her up and down. She blew out her smoke in people's faces, she was _late, _she wore sunglasses in an attempt to look cool, she touched people without their permission, she died her hair bright pink, she wore hell of a lot of lipstick and other makeup, she wore high heels that she could barely walk in (also to look cool), and worst of all; she wore her dress so that Gokudera didn't even have to crouch to see her panties. Not to mention, her breasts looked like they were growing a grapefruit farm. Everything about her screamed _fake! _Gokudera looked disgusted at this woman's attempt to look sexy. God, some people didn't even have to try like Yamamo-

Gokudera froze his thoughts. He. Absolutely. _Refused _to think about that man. It was too painful. Instead, he brought his attention back to the woman in front of him as she spoke.

"You look like Hayato Gokudera." Her voice was dry, like someone was beating her vocal cords with a towel. She bent down to put out her cigarette in the small ashtray and Gokudera grimaced as her arm slinked around his and led him into the restaurant.

"I was damn hoping to every god out there that you weren't Airi Kouzoki." Airi looked offended, like she wasn't used to people reacting to her that way.

"Really? Most men get turned on when they see me," she bragged, ever so slightly bending over so that the table behind her (full of teenage guys of course) stopped eating and dropped their forks. One even got a nosebleed and Gokudera twitched his eye in disgust. God, the woman was even _full _of herself!

"Poor bastards," Gokudera muttered; shaking his head as Airi looked at him questioningly. God, of all the people his father had to pick, why did it have to be this whore? Did he somehow _compare _them? Gokudera shuttered at the thought, but reassured himself that his father was probably just being a bastard again.

The two sat across from each other at the table (which Gokudera was glad for), but Airi kept crossing her legs with his and he removed his legs with disgust. Who knew what she'd try to do to him under the table it he left his legs there. Airi pouted, her bright pink lips poking out in a way that was supposed to look cute but was so obviously _not_.

"So… Mr. Gokudera," Airi laughed like it was supposed to be funny, "what's your favorite color?"

Gokudera felt as if ants were crawling up his skin. This woman _irritated _him so much. Was this question supposed to be some kind of conversation starter? A way to get to know each other a little better? Or did she just really want to know?

"Not pink," he said dryly. Airi pursed her lips and Gokudera found slight satisfaction in pissing her off. Airi kicked her leg under the table, but completely missed Gokudera's.

"Well, do you smoke?" Airi questioned, figuring (smartly for once) that she would never get her answer if she pushed. Gokudera suddenly remembered why he hated cigarette smoke so much. Being a past smoker, he found it true that people who stopped were more repelled at the scent than people who had never smoked in their lives. Gokudera still always smelled like gunpowder, due to his explosives, but nicotine was no longer part of his scent.

"Used to," he replied evasively. If Airi wanted to play the question game, she was going to have to fight for the answers. Gokudera didn't feel comfortable with telling people about himself, not that he would anyway. Airi pounded her fists on the table in annoyance.

"Hayato-chaaaaann~ You're so annooooying!" She harrumphed and picked up her menu, obviously not wanting to talk to him anymore. Gokudera suddenly snapped, tired of her attitude and that stupid nickname, and lunged across the table; grabbing Airi tightly around the neck. Her eyes widened behind her sunglasses and her face paled as Gokudera leaned in close to her face.

"If you _ever_ call me that again, I will never let you walk on this planet again," he growled, fixing his sharp glare on Airi. "Do you understand me?"

Airi nodded weakly, too paralyzed from fear to respond any other way. Gokudera glared her down a little more before releasing her neck and sitting back in the booth. She coughed, breathing heavily and sweating as she tried to recompose herself.

"Jeez, Haya…. _Gokudera, _I was just kidding!" She snapped, touching her neck gently. Gokudera tried not to jump on her again as her b-attitude came back.

How he _hated _this woman.

* * *

><p>To say Yamamoto was depressed was an understatement. He hadn't really done anything in three months, missed every single baseball thrown at him to the point that he was put on temporary leave, and he couldn't even remember the last time he'd smiled. Oh, wait, yes he did. The last time he'd smiled was that night. The night where everything was perfect. With Gokudera…<p>

Yamamoto's heart clenched and his eyes shone with pain as he sat in the backseat of the car as his father drove him to where he was supposed to meet his fiancée. He couldn't stop thinking about Gokudera. He'd promised himself and his dad that he'd do his best to forget him, but he couldn't. Every day, he fell deeper into the hole of depression as his thoughts were invaded with Gokudera.

He was forced back to the present as his father stopped the car. Tsuyoshi looked back at his son, overwhelming sadness in his gaze. Yamamoto looked horrible. His clothes were as straight as Tsuyoshi could make them, but his tie was crooked (none of the Yamamotos could properly tie a tie), and that wasn't even the worst of it. His eyes were swollen, puffy, and red from crying every day; sometimes more than that. His mouth was twisted down into a frown, not even a hint of his old smile to be seen. As a father, Tsuyoshi couldn't help feeling guilty for his son's depression but he didn't know what he could do. He'd tried, but Yamamoto had insisted to keep himself in the marriage. Tsuyoshi wondered what he'd say now. He reached back and squeezed Yamamoto's shoulder.

"Good luck, Takeshi."

Yamamoto's mouth twisted into a line and he only nodded. He hated that word. _Luck._ Luck was a bunch of crap. If luck existed, it would've done something to keep Gokudera with Yamamoto. But, no, Yamamoto didn't feel lucky; he felt deprived.

He fumbled with the door and finally got it open, stumbling out of the car. People turned to stare but Yamamoto could hardly care at the moment. He made his way slowly to the restaurant, feeling like his feet were dragging through mud.

When he finally got inside, after what seemed like an eternity, he plopped down on the bench in the lobby. He closed his eyes in effort to compose himself, to give his best impression to the woman, but it was hard. He hadn't been composed for three months and he was nowhere near over his depression. But he'd have to try. He took a deep breath when he felt someone's presence and opened his eyes.

She was smiling shyly and she had a timid edge to her. She had light brown (slightly auburn if you looked at it in a certain light) hair that ran all the way down to her shoulders. Her eyes were a similar color to Yamamoto's and her facial structure fit perfectly together. If Yamamoto was thinking clearly, he would've compared her to Tsuna.

But he wasn't thinking clearly. All he could think about was Gokudera and how he'd have to give him up. Yamamoto swallowed thickly. He'd dreaded this day for three months. He'd been so, so scared of the time when he knew he'd have to give up Gokudera for good. It felt like he was dying every time he thought about it, and then reincarnated into the same depression. It was torture. And now it was happening for real.

Suddenly an arm waved in front of his face and he jumped, coming back to focus on the woman. She smiled, her cheeks blushing bright pink and Yamamoto had to admit she was cute. But he didn't spark up the same way he did when he thought about Gokudera. He almost slipped back into depression when the woman started speaking.

"Um…. Are you Takeshi Yamamoto?" She asked; her voice like crystal. She seemed like a nice girl, but Yamamoto could barely nod. He'd realized long ago that girls just didn't appeal to him, love-wise anyway. He stopped being surprised a long time ago. He swallowed again and ordered his voice to come out steady.

"Yeah, that's me," Yamamoto croaked, wincing at how horrible his voice sounded after he'd never used it and ran his throat ragged with all the crying he'd done. But she didn't seem to notice (or pretending like she didn't) and her smile turned slightly bigger. "Um…. Then that must make you Miharu Ito, right?"

She nodded enthusiastically as she led the way into the restaurant, talking about a mile a minute. She said almost everything about herself before they'd even reached the table. Yamamoto's head was spinning as he tried to keep up with her fast introduction. All he could really think was that he was glad she wasn't trying to touch him or grab his hand. He would've had a meltdown if she'd done that.

They both sat down at a table, the waiter coming up in a matter of seconds and giving them their menus. Yamamoto didn't feel hungry (correction; he hadn't felt hungry in three months) but he decided to at least order some soup and salad so Miharu wouldn't worry.

He had to admit that Tsuyoshi had chosen a nice girl for him as he attempted to make conversation. For once in three months he found himself smiling and laughing at her lame jokes and he couldn't help but grin widely when she told him she was on a softball team. She listened to all his stories about baseball and they even had a heated debate over their favorite teams. She was almost the perfect match for him.

If only he could forget about Gokudera.

**(A/N) I had fun creating the fiancées :) Though I had to write Yamamoto's part about three times before I was satisfied with it :| Why do Yamamoto's chapters give me such a hard time? And I realize that I lot of people were predicting and hoping that, by some miracle and accident, Gokudera and Yamamoto would end up getting married to each other. And I was actually originally planning on doing that. But after a lot of thinking and plot bunnies, I realized that I liked this approach much better so I'm going for it :D Sorry to disappoint you, but I hope you'll be satisfied in the end. Also, the next chapter will be another time skip to the wedding. No more on that ;) Oh and sorry for not updating sooner :| I'm such a horrible lazy bum even though I had a whole week off due to snow. Also, finals are this week so I probably won't update until three weeks at the max. **


	8. Chapter 8

**(A/N) So, I've never actually been to a wedding so I'm just skipping a lot of it and doing the stuff that I do know, and are the most important :P And, since they're in Japan, they probably should be doing a traditional Japanese wedding but I have no idea how those go. So sorry, but I hope this will be interesting anyway. **

"_Luck never made a man wise." –Seneca _

The day of the wedding, Gokudera was literally forced into his suit.

He'd woken up, and immediately decided that today would be a good day to jump off a cliff. So that's where his dad had caught him, climbing out his bedroom window. His father had nearly blown his top dragging his son away from the window. They'd had a huge argument, throwing things that were nearly impossible to replace, that somehow ended with Gokudera in his suit, growling as his father drove him to the church where the wedding was supposed to take place.

Gokudera couldn't imagine what it would be like to be legally attached to that… _whore._ She'd have the authorities on her side that allowed her to touch him and… do other things. Gokudera shivered.

His days in hell had begun.

* * *

><p>Yamamoto was having trouble tying his tie. He didn't know why they had to make these things so impossible to tie. Even his father couldn't do it! He wondered if Gokudera knew how… He shook his head violently. Now was not a time to be thinking about him!<p>

He was getting married today.

Huffing in annoyance, he decided to just skip the tie. He threw it onto his bedroom chair, running downstairs and into his father's car. He stared out the window, hating himself for feeling excitement as his father drove towards the church. How could he possibly be happy today? Today was the last day he could ever love Gokudera without feeling guilty.

Miharu had cheered him up so much. She had dragged him out of his depression when no one else could. But he didn't feel the attraction to her that he should've when they were getting married; he just liked her as a friend. Yamamoto sighed and rested his head on the window.

Today was going to be a long day.

* * *

><p>Gokudera was frozen.<p>

The pastor had told him that he'd wanted to hurry along this marriage since there'd be another one immediately after. Gokudera had shrugged and said that he didn't really care. And he didn't. Better to have it go quickly than take forever.

He didn't think that the wedding after his would be Yamamoto's. But Gokudera could see him in the crowd, wearing a white suit almost identical to his.

Everything in him seemed to freeze. He couldn't take his eyes off Yamamoto, who he hadn't seen in four months and had tried so hard to forget about. He swallowed as their eyes connected.

Time around them stopped. All Gokudera could see were Yamamoto's eyes widening in shock and he could tell that he had the same expression. Gokudera's heart clenched painfully and he broke eye contact. He stared down at the floor, trying to hold back the tears brimming in his eyes.

How the hell was he supposed to do this if _**he **_was watching him the whole time?

* * *

><p>Yamamoto was pretty sure his mouth was agape.<p>

He had insisted to watch the wedding before his since he wanted to be polite. He had walked down the aisle and almost choked and died right on the carpet.

Goku… Gokudera was standing in the husband's place in a white suit.

Yamamoto felt his knees start to wobble and he made it to the nearest open seat before he collapsed. He couldn't believe that of all of the weddings, it had to be Gokudera's. He thought about leaving, but he couldn't even take his eyes off Gokudera, let alone move his legs.

Then their eyes connected.

All the breath was taken out of Yamamoto as he stared into those bright turquoise eyes. His heart clenched painfully and he could tell that he was going to start crying. He used every ounce of his self-control to prevent himself from running up there and tackling Gokudera.

When Gokudera broke their eye contact, Yamamoto felt something break inside of him. If he hadn't leaned his head down so that no one would see his tears, he would've noticed that Gokudera was trying hard to do the same.

* * *

><p>When Gokudera was pretty sure that he had composed himself, the wedding had started. He took a deep breath and looked up; avoiding the place where he knew Yamamoto was sitting. His stomach twisted painfully, like he'd seen Bianchi, as Airi walked down the aisle in the ugliest wedding dress Gokudera had ever seen. Or maybe it was a good dress and Airi just ruined it. Gokudera had to resist the urge to spit in her face as she climbed up the stairs and smiled at him.<p>

The pastor went through all the formalities before turning to Airi.

"Airi Kouzoki, do you take Hayato Gokudera to be your lovely wedded husband?"

"I do," Airi whispered, looking like she was the luckiest girl in the world. Gokudera wanted to go throw up in a corner. He took a deep breath as the pastor turned to him. This was it.

"And Hayato Gokudera, do you take Airi Kouzoki to be your lovely wedded wife?"

Gokudera hesitated. He could hear the crowd start to murmur behind him, saying things like, "he has doubts," and, "he doesn't deserve Airi at all." Gokudera felt anger start to rise in him but then he could feel a certain pair of eyes on him. He swallowed as he realized that Yamamoto was staring at him. Making his decision, Gokudera faced the pastor with determination.

"No." The whole crowd gasped and Airi staggered, pale as a ghost. She looked like she was about to faint. She ran over to Gokudera and grabbed his arm, on the verge of tears.

"B-but Hayato-chan! What about all our plans?" She cried. Gokudera grimaced in disgust and yanked his arm out of her grasp.

"What did I tell you about calling me that?" He growled, turning his back on her and descending the steps. "And we never made any plans, you whore."

The crowd was dead silent as Gokudera walked back down the aisle, his eyes fixed on one person. He stopped in front of Yamamoto who stared up at him, wide-eyed. Gokudera's eyes softened and he held out his hand to Yamamoto.

Yamamoto stared at the hand, his whole body shaking as if he was trying really hard to stop himself from taking it. He looked up at Gokudera, his eyes filled with pain.

"Gokudera… I'm sorry… I-I can't… my dad needs the money…" he stuttered, tears welling up in his eyes.

Gokudera felt like rifles had shot eighty bullets into his heart. He stayed frozen, his arm still sticking out. Eventually he put it down, so slowly that it was hard to tell he was moving at all. He bent his head down, his bangs covering his face.

"I see," he whispered, his voice so soft that he wasn't even sure if Yamamoto had heard him. He gave Yamamoto the most pained look the man had ever seen before making his exit.

He ran out of the church, not holding back his tears anymore. He sobbed loudly as he ran blindly to who knows where. He had ruined his marriage, his relationship with his dad even more screwed than before, and for what? Just so he could be rejected by the one person who he'd ever loved?

Something was tearing at his legs as he continued to run, his tears preventing him to be able to see anything. Everything was blurry, hot, and wet. His leg spasmed and he fell to the ground, curling into a fetal position as he cried his eyes out. The face Yamamoto had made when he rejected him blocked his vision. Slight anger rose up in the overwhelming pain Gokudera was feeling. His expression had proven something to Gokudera.

He'd been the only one in love there.

* * *

><p>Yamamoto watched Gokudera run out, wondering what the hell he'd just done.<p>

Gokudera had dropped everything to come over and be with him and he had _rejected _him. What was wrong with him? He gave up his love for _money_? Yamamoto wanted to curl up in a hole and die. How could he have done something like that to cause Gokudera so much pain? However, he couldn't dwell on his decision for very long for it was his turn.

He swallowed as he stood, his legs shaking horribly. It was a wonder that he made it down the aisle at all. He stood in the place where he was supposed to be as the music started.

Miharu looked absolutely gorgeous as she walked down the aisle. Yamamoto just wished that she wasn't walking to marry him. Yamamoto barely contained himself from crying as she came to stand next to him. She gave him a side-ways glance and it took Yamamoto a second to recognize the emotion that was in that glance. Understanding.

Yamamoto's eyes widened as he realized that Miharu must have also had someone she'd had to give up. He shot a grateful look back to her and hoped that she understood the message. She nodded and smiled softly at him.

They both turned as the pastor started the wedding. Yamamoto didn't remember a single thing that happened, or even him opening his mouth to say those two words, but somehow he had ended up being married to Miharu.

The one thing that Yamamoto did remember was kissing Miharu. Her lips were soft, but he couldn't help but compare it to kissing Gokudera. Truthfully, Yamamoto preferred Gokudera's kisses. He broke off from the kiss with Miharu, feeling guilty that all he could think about when they kissed was the man that he had rejected. Miharu placed a comforting hand on his shoulder and smiled to show that she understood. She leaned forward to whisper in his ear.

"There's a corner by the side of the building that no one ever passes by. You might want to check it out. I'll tell everyone you took a bathroom break." Yamamoto stared at her and smiled gratefully.

"Thank you so much, Miharu," Yamamoto said, bowing as he followed her directions to the corner.

When he found it, he dropped his composure as he slid down the wall. He buried his head in his arms and cried his eyes out. He hated himself for choosing money over Gokudera and he knew that he could probably never take it back. He'd probably never see Gokudera again. His body shook violently with sobs as the pained look Gokudera had given him filled his vision.

He really screwed everything up.

**(A/N) Well, there's that chapter. I don't really have anything to say here except apologizing for taking so long to upload. No warnings about the next chapter because I still have to plan it out :P And I also feel like this chapter's quote is the title of a Sekai-ichi Hatsukoi episode. Doesn't it sound like something that Sekai-ichi Hatsukoi would say?**


	9. Chapter 9

**(A/N) Well, like I said before, 1859 is back so I really am sorry if you don't like this pairing but I hope you stick with the story to the end anyway :) Italic sentences are flashbacks. The quote is just something to lighten the mood since this story really needs it. It is in no way an actual quote xD**

"_**Dude, you extremely need luck right now! I'm not kidding." –Ryohei Sasagawa**_

Gokudera felt numb.

Not only was there a small ache in his lower back, but his chest felt like there was a giant hole in it and something was still carving away. He felt constricted; so much so that sometimes he had trouble breathing. Rotating to his stomach, Gokudera tightened his grip on the pillow and buried his face into it.

Yamamoto had rejected him.

Gokudera remembered clearly the look Yamamoto had given him, the way his voice had sounded when he'd said that, how the whole church had gone deadly silent as he'd ran out. He remembered running to who knows where and somehow being found by Hibari. He remembered the man saying things that had seemed so comforting then, and he remembered being coaxed into bed; even when he knew what had happened the last time he'd had sex with Hibari. He'd completely regretted it. He still did. And now there was last night to account for as well.

He also remembered what Hibari had whispered to him when they'd finished and were both breathing heavily.

"_He never loved you." Gokudera's eyes widened and he flinched as Hibari wrapped his arms around him._

"_Shut up you bastard. You don't know Yamamoto." But he was really starting to doubt if he himself had known him. If Hibari was right. Gokudera felt Hibari smirk against his ear._

"_Then why didn't he accept you?"_

The words rang in Gokudera's ears and he felt tears well up in his eyes again. Dammit, dammit, dammit, was why he never opened up to _anyone. _Why had he been so stupid to make the exception this time?

Gokudera, his face still buried in the pillow, heard Hibari walk into the room. He tensed, since he really didn't want to see the man right now. Wasn't he allowed to be depressed in peace? But Hibari didn't touch him, and Gokudera would've thought he'd left if he didn't know Hibari better than that. Hibari could be dead silent when he wanted to be.

"What the hell do you want?" Gokudera growled, his voice muffled by the pillow. Hibari didn't respond, but Gokudera could feel his eyes boring into him. He felt anger rising in him and he raised his head to shout; not caring about his tear-stained face at all.

"If you don't have anything to say, go the fuck away!" Hibari just regarded him calmly, not even moving when Hibird nestled herself into his hair. Gokudera was starting to get irritated, ready to just throw something at the bastard.

"Are you going to wallow in self pity forever?" The words split through the silence, so soft that Gokudera wasn't sure if he'd actually heard it. Or if it was just his thoughts screwing with him again. Gokudera was at lack for words for a moment, anger slowly rising inside of him.

"It's not self pity! Or is the word 'depression' not in your dictionary?" Gokudera sneered, shooting Hibari a deadly look. Hibari would never understand. He'd never lost someone the way Gokudera had. Gokudera rolled over so that his back was to Hibari. "You wouldn't understand anyway."

The tonfa came silent and deadly, right into Gokudera's lower back. A splotch of black blocked Gokudera's vision as he almost fainted from the explosion of pain in his back. Holy _shit_. Gokudera sucked in breath, determined not to make a sound as Hibari climbed over him. His mouth was right next to Gokudera's ear and his words cut through him like ice.

"You think I've never lost anyone?" Hibari hissed. "You think I've never been rejected like you have? Stone cold face staring blankly at you as they leave? Does that sound familiar to you Gokudera?"

Gokudera flinched. He knew exactly what Hibari was talking about; that night, all those years ago, when Gokudera had first lost his virginity. Gokudera squeezed his eyes tightly as memories started to come back and his regret came back full force. Hibari chuckled before frowning seriously. He bit Gokudera's neck; hard.

"Don't go saying I don't know what you're talking about, you whore," Hibari growled. "I'll bite you to death."

The whore comment hit Gokudera hard. It reminded him too much of his ex-fiancée, that slutty Airi Kouzoki. And for Gokudera himself to be called that, having only slept with two men and one of which was the man right next to him, really pissed him off. He growled and shoved at Hibari's chest, knocking the man off the bed.

Gokudera sat up angrily and immediately regretted it. His back screamed in pain, worse than the usual aftermath due to Hibari's tonfa. He swore and took out his anger on Hibari.

"Who the fuck do you think you are?" Gokudera shouted. He tossed pillow after pillow at Hibari who easily dodged them. "Calling me a slut when you practically raped me! What the hell kind of friend beats someone up when they're already broken? You, sick bastard, have no business in my life!"

"It's not rape when you want it, Gokudera." Hibari's head peaked up from over the bed, his eyes glittering dangerously. He crawled up and pinned Gokudera to the bed. He struggled but Hibari refused to let go. "You need me right now and you know it. You needed to know someone would still have sex with you without your precious Takeshi, am I right?"

Gokudera looked like he'd been slapped in the face. Anger blossomed in him so fast he didn't even realize he'd moved his arm until his fist connected with Hibari's face. Gokudera breathed heavily as Hibari regarded him coolly. He'd meant to take that punch; otherwise he would've dodged that easily. Somehow, the thought made Gokudera angrier.

He threw Hibari off him and stormed off the bed. He pulled on his suit before looking back as he stood in the doorway. He spat at Hibari as he furiously put on his tie.

"I will never need you. Ever!"

Gokudera slammed the door shut behind him as he left Hibari's house. Anger steamed in him, almost drowning out his depression. However, as he slumped in pain on some random person's doorstep a few minutes later, it came back full blow as he realized he had nowhere to go. Tears welled up in his eyes as he fell into a troubled sleep.

"… Yamamoto…"

* * *

><p>Miharu's parents' house was amazing.<p>

Not only was it a bazillion times bigger than Yamamoto's home, but the place was filled with ancient antiques of samurai warriors and higher-ups during the Edo period. The rug looked more expensive than Yamamoto's whole house and chandeliers hung in every room in the house. Did he mention that there were a hundred rooms exactly? It was like walking through a museum.

Yamamoto tried not to gawk as Miharu showed him around the house. He was sure he'd get lost in a place like this. Miharu giggled as she toured him around the place and Yamamoto blushed in embarrassment. God, he probably looked like an idiot.

"Big, huh?" She laughed pointing out the restroom. Yamamoto was going to say something like, "way bigger than what I'm used to!" and laugh. But instead, Yamamoto voiced what was on his mind at the moment.

"That's a really nice toilet."

Miharu laughed so hard that Yamamoto was worried she'd cough up her lung. When she finally calmed down, and Yamamoto stopped agonizing about how stupid he was sometimes, Miharu showed Yamamoto her room. It was where the proud parents wanted the newlyweds to sleep together, but bile rose to Yamamoto's throat at the thought of sleeping with anyone else besides Gokudera. He had a feeling that Miharu felt the same way.

Miharu's room was about as big as the restaurant section of Yamamoto's house. Yamamoto wondered what someone would do with so much space, especially someone as tidy as Miharu. He toured around the room by himself as Miharu checked her hair in the mirror.

Yamamoto came across a picture of a woman who looked to be about his age. Her hair was bright pink and her clothes a little too short for Yamamoto's tastes. She had a wild grin but her sunglasses blocked if the smile actually reached her eyes. The woman looked oddly familiar but he couldn't place where he'd seen her before. Yamamoto turned to Miharu who was fussing with a hair tie.

"Who's this?" He asked. Miharu turned around curiously and blushed as she saw who he was pointing at. She hurried over and shoved the picture into a drawer, shutting it tightly.

"No one," she murmured, but her cheeks were bright pink. Yamamoto tilted his head to the side in confusion, but decided to drop the subject.

After a tour of the upper two floors, which caused Yamamoto to end up completely overwhelmed and turned around with all the different passageways, Miharu led him back down to the kitchen where her parents were sitting. They had slight smiles on their faces, that gave Yamamoto the impression that they were a happy family, and they were dressed nicely for the occasion of their daughter's new husband.

'Nicely' was an understatement. Miharu's father, Yamamoto believed his name was Kenta if he remembered correctly, wore a dark purple velvet suit with black cuffs and v-neck that exposed a nicely ironed, classy white dress shirt. He wore a maroon colored bow-tie, and Yamamoto couldn't believe that the man actually looked _good _in this color-code. Miharu's mother, her name was Sayako which Yamamoto remembered because it was the name of his mother as well (what a coincidence), wore a light green dress that strapped around her shoulders and exposed her back. Her hair was done up in a bun, pinned with pearls, and she had an assortment of necklaces crossing her neck.

Yamamoto felt like he was wearing a rag compared to these people.

"Ah, Yamamoto was it? Welcome to our humble home!" Kenta exclaimed, waving his hand in a motion for Yamamoto to sit down at one of the many chairs surrounding the long dining table.

"_Hardly humble," _Yamamoto thought but he sat down anyway. The cushion was very soft and completely white. Yamamoto hoped that he didn't have any dirt on his butt because that would be extremely embarrassing. Miharu sat to his right and took his hand in hers in a comforting motion. It might've also doubled as an act for her parents, but Yamamoto didn't mind. They were both pretending to be happy.

"So, Yamamoto, what do you do to get a living?" Kenta asked, his beaming smile making Yamamoto uncomfortable. This was coming from the head of one of the most popular businesses in the country. It was known throughout the world and had the biggest income other lines in its business had ever seen. Yamamoto felt like anything he did wrong would count as a disappointment on his entire family.

"Uh… I play professional baseball and work at my dad's sushi restaurant…" Yamamoto cringed, wondering if he should've sounded more confident. Miharu squeezed his hand comfortingly and Yamamoto was relieved to see her father give a nod of approval. Yamamoto took a quick glance at Sayako. She seemed to be deep in thought and, when she finally spoke, it chilled Yamamoto to the bone.

"Do you have any kind of connection with the man who had his wedding, well almost had his wedding, before you? What was his name…? Hayato Gokudera?"

Yamamoto felt his throat constrict. He should've known someone would've been curious about what had occurred between the two grooms but Yamamoto had hoped to god that it wouldn't be his new parents. His insides churned with emotion: desire, longing, depression, regret. He hoped his face didn't show how he felt.

"We're… just friends…" Yamamoto choked out, when he could finally force himself to speak. Both Kenta and Sayako gave him a strange look and Sayako opened her mouth to say something when Miharu stepped in. She stood and smiled at her parents; tugging on Yamamoto's arm so that he stood up with her in a daze.

"Takeshi's just a little tired; I am too. We're going to check in for the night." Yamamoto didn't even process her dragging him away from the table and up to her room. He did, however, process the wet tears staining his cheeks.

When they reached her room, Miharu locked it behind her and gave Yamamoto a box of tissues. He tried to thank her for her kindness but his vocal cords didn't seem to be working. He just blew his nose and settled down on the futon next to Miharu's bed. It must've taken hours for him to stop crying, and more after that to finally go to sleep.

When he finally did, Miharu was still awake and staring at the ceiling. She sighed as she thought about the woman in the picture and wondered where she was now. She pretended not to hear the desperate whimper of Yamamoto in his sleep.

"…Gokudera…"

**(A/N) I feel like the ending's missing something… Oh well. Sorry this took so long to get out, but it's finally here! I looked up the clothing for Kenta and Sayako (literally typed 'expensive clothing' in the Google search bar). Kenta's suit cost $4600.00. Holy crap, that's a lot of money for a suit!**


	10. Chapter 10

"_**What luck for the rulers that men do not think" –Adolf Hitler**_

Someone shook Gokudera awake roughly and he let out a small grunt as his back ended its short painless vacation to come back in full throttle. Gokudera opened his eyes irritably, momentarily forgetting about the last few days' events. He didn't appreciate the interruption of his peace. He struggled to prop himself up on his elbows, the pain shooting down his back not helping, as his eyes adjusted to being awake.

When he blinked the last bit of sleep out of his eyes, Gokudera's eyes met nearly identical ones. The only difference was that these were blazing in barely controllable anger.

Gokudera groaned. He really didn't want to deal with his father right now. But he didn't have much of a choice because, as he had been distracted with the act of opening his eyes so he could actually see, his father had him yanked up by the collar. Gokudera squinted as his father started hissing in his face. He felt his temper start to rise as spit flew into his face.

"Here you are, you little fucker. Do you know how much humiliation you caused me with that little act? Not only was my big plan on money and getting you out of the way ruined, but now the whole fucking country knows that the head of Kouzoyo's son is a shitless _fag_!" By the end, no, from the beginning of this little speech Gokudera could feel himself shaking with rage. How _dare _he say that! He had ignored Gokudera for most of the silver-haired Italian's life and now he expected him to act like a good little boy just to suit his father's needs? Bullshit. Gokudera was living life _his _way.

"You selfish bastard," Gokudera growled as he smacked his father's arm off him. "The only thing you've ever cared about is you and that stupid company! Why should you care who I love anyway? I think I did you a favor! You can finally get the _respect _you've deserved since the day you were born!"

Gokudera spat at his father's feet.

"Kouzoyo's going out of business, anyway."

Gokudera wasn't even aware of what happened next. Suddenly he was being shoved roughly to the ground; the steps of whoever's house this was digging into his back. He bit on his lip to hold back a cry of pain, his back still smarting from yesterday's encounter with Hibari, to the point of drawing blood.

At first, Gokudera wasn't conscious of the fact that his father was on top of him.

He was, however, aware of someone unzipping his pants.

He stared down sharply, his breath hitching in shock and yes; fear. His father was leaning over him, pulling off Gokudera's and his own pants. Gokudera's heart thundered in his chest as the clothes were deposited into the yard and adrenaline suddenly pumped through his veins. He struggled wildly, but his father's arms had him pinned down.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Gokudera screeched. He wondered, even though it was still dark out, if there was anyone he could shout to for help. Shit, if only he wasn't pinned down! He felt his father smirk near his ear; hot breath shooting into his ear canal. Gokudera flinched. This technique was one Hibari used a lot.

"Teaching you the meaning of being a fag."

* * *

><p>Gokudera was crying silently when his father finally finished and stepped back to pull his pants back on.<p>

He felt violated. He _was_ violated. That horrible feeling of his father inside of him, the ugly noises that he had pulled out of Gokudera, the fact that it had happened at all…

Gokudera had hated his father plenty of times, but he'd never been afraid of him like he was now. He had never considered his father as someone who could do… _this. _The thought had never even crossed his mind.

That a father could rape his own son.

He didn't even try to conceal the cries of pain that escaped him as his father yanked him into a standing position. He wondered if his back would ever heal, after all the abuse it had gone through. He just stayed lifeless as his father forcefully pulled on Gokudera's pants and shoved him into the backseat of a car. That was the least painful way of doing things. He slumped against the window, and apparently spoke what was on his mind because his father answered.

"We're going to the house of the head of the only company who is still our ally after what you did, you little shit," his father growled as he floored the gas pedal.

Gokudera wanted to ask why he was coming along, but he couldn't even organize his thoughts at the moment. His father probably had AIDS, or some stupid STD from all of the women he'd brought home. He crossed his arms over his hips, as if protecting himself from further harm, and stared out the window as the world flashed by.

* * *

><p>Yamamoto nearly fell dead.<p>

He'd been living in Miharu's parents' house for the past couple of days, getting used to living with Miharu while their soon-to-be house was being built. Kenta had insisted on building them their own house, even though the couple had insisted that they were fine with an already made house. But Kenta was stubborn and refused to budge. Miharu had just rolled her eyes and shrugged at Yamamoto.

Yamamoto had even gotten used to kissing Miharu, at least in front of her parents. The two had a silent agreement to only act lovey-dovey when there was a parent nearby since they both still loved someone else. Yamamoto had a feeling that Miharu's lover was that girl in the picture, but he said nothing.

Sometimes they cuddled on the couch together involuntary, just some little things like his hand on her calf and her head on his chest which could be considered as a deep friendship as well. However, the couple was going to let Miharu's over-enthusiastic parents think what they wanted.

But none of these things were the reason for Yamamoto nearly having a heart attack and dying right there on the stairs.

Gokudera was there. In Miharu's house. Within three yards of where Yamamoto was standing. Yamamoto's breath hitched. But his eyes narrowed slightly. Something was off.

The silver-haired beauty was standing behind a very pissed-off looking man with his silver bangs covering half of his face. But as Yamamoto bent his head in a weird angle to look at his face, he realized that Gokudera's cheeks were tear-stained and his eyes hollow and lifeless. And, to Yamamoto's utter horror and concern, when Gokudera followed the angry man into the living room, he had a very noticeable limp. He was hugging his arms tightly around himself, as if protecting himself from something.

What in the world had this man done to himself?

Yamamoto felt himself start to move forward, but an arm stopped him. He looked down to see Miharu had blocked his path and she gave him a small shake of her head. She climbed a few stairs so she could whisper in his ear.

"Don't get involved. Hiroto Gokudera is not someone you want to mess with when he's angry." She smiled sympathetically at him. "Just sit at the table and try not to stare too hard, okay?"

Yamamoto swallowed and nodded, even though he wondered if he could even follow this request. Yamamoto almost tripped down the stairs as he followed Miharu into the kitchen where Hiroto was shouting at Kenta. Yamamoto's gaze was glued to Gokudera, even when he couldn't believe what was happening or that this man blowing his top was Gokudera's father.

Hiroto was pushing his son in front of him, either oblivious or uncaring at Gokudera's flinch in pain. It was obvious that he was hurting badly and the reason probably also had to do with why he was limping. Hiroto was spitting about some stupid and horrible things his son had did, but Yamamoto paid no attention to that. He didn't believe Gokudera was the man his father believed him to be. Yamamoto's heart twisted at the look in the Italian's eyes as Gokudera turned his head to look at him.

He looked scared.

Yamamoto had never seen Gokudera look scared; the man always held himself with a sort of indifference that Yamamoto admired. He always held his head up and his snappy attitude and proud ego was always portrayed in a flamboyant way.

But Yamamoto didn't see any trace of that now.

All he saw was a broken corpse.

Suddenly Gokudera was looking at him. Really looking at him. Not in the spaced out way that he had been just before. His attention was fully on Yamamoto now. Yamamoto swallowed and attempted a small smile even when the look Gokudera was giving him killed him.

It was full of longing. Love. Despair. Pain. Fear.

Yamamoto wanted to comfort Gokudera; tell him he was sorry for being so stupid and that he still loved him, no matter what. But just as he was finally convincing himself to move, no matter what Miharu had warned him about, a finger was being shoved in his face and Yamamoto was suddenly tuned into what was being said.

"… and it's all because of this asshole right here!"

Suddenly all eyes were turned to Yamamoto and he heard Miharu draw in a breath. Gokudera was looking at him with what seemed to be guilt. Now Yamamoto really wanted to know what he was being accused of.

"Takeshi…" Kenta started, in a tone that told Yamamoto he wasn't going to like how this sentence finished. "We've accepted you into this family with open arms and enjoyed every minute of it. But this… does this mean you've been lying to us? Have you been having an affair with this man?"

The air seemed to deprive itself of oxygen as Yamamoto suddenly couldn't breathe. His eyes darted from Miharu to Gokudera, both of them begging him to say no. But he'd lied to these kind people long enough, and the sudden despair he'd felt ever since he realized he'd have to give Gokudera up gave him a steely determination. He was going to confess in front of everybody; show the silver-haired Italian that he had been serious about him from the beginning.

But, just as Yamamoto opened his mouth to speak, a flash of pink stomped into the kitchen and stopped in front of Gokudera. When Yamamoto could focus, all he saw was way too short booty shorts.

"Airi!" Miharu squeaked, her face mirroring the horror in her tone.

And suddenly Yamamoto recognized the girl in the picture; Airi Kouzoki, Gokudera's ex-fiancée. How Miharu knew the girl, or if she was crazy if Yamamoto's suspicion was correct, Yamamoto didn't know. The room fell silent as Airi pouted in an angry stance right in front of Gokudera. The whole thing almost even felt normal when Gokudera developed a disgusted look on his face.

"Hayato Gokudera, I _demand _an apology!"

**(A/N) Ever since that last chapter squeezed itself out of my brain, this has been a lot easier for me to write! I thank everyone who helped me get out of my funk and back into the mood of writing this story! :) And I never thought that I would use a quote from Hitler :P**


	11. Chapter 11

**(A/N) GUYS, I AM SO SORRY FOR DISAPPEARING FOR TWO MONTHS AND LEAVING YOU ON SUCH A CLIFF HANGER! *BOWS HEAD* I've been drowning in school work, and I decided to put my writing off until the summer. But luckily for you guys, it's summer so I'll be uploading a whole lot more! :D Also, I'll be taking this writing class in the middle of July, so hopefully my writing skills will improve! ;u; Again, I apologize deeply and hope this chapter was worth the wait!**

"_A person does not seek luck; luck seeks the person" _

–_Turkish proverb_

The fact that Airi had the _worst _timing in the world was only part of it. The other part was that Gokudera had been trying to convey a lot of things to Yamamoto through his eyes when these boobs got in his way.

Everything up to that point, Gokudera wished he could just forget. The rape, the whole rant his father had yelled at his business ally, the fact that he was now classified as a fag, the fact that Yamamoto was standing right there, the fact that Yamamoto had been just about to ruin his life by confessing to everyone.

Well, maybe Airi's appearance wasn't such a bad thing.

Gokudera looked down as she glared heatedly at him, his old fighting spirit buried in a deep crevice in his heart. After what his father had done to him, he couldn't really find himself to mouth back. He felt _dirty. _He still couldn't believe that his father had done it. It was just so... _wrong _in so many ways. Gokudera knew his father was horrible, but this was a new low for him. He didn't think the man even deserved to be called a father anymore.

"Well, Gokudera? Are you going to apologize?" Airi was still pouting and shoving herself into Gokudera's face. He was almost willing to just stand there and take it, since he didn't feel like he could do much otherwise. He just looked up at Airi lifelessly as she glared at him.

Her gaze suddenly faltered.

"Um… Gokudera? You don't look so good… maybe you should go see a doctor?" At this point, Gokudera wished he had something to kill himself with.

"The only doctor _**he'd**_ need to see would be one that _fixes_ a person's gender," Gokudera's father growled, interrupting Airi's look of concern. Gokudera didn't even stiffen at the rude comment. He was too broken to really care what his father said anymore. And maybe things would be better off if he just became a girl.

Airi looked confused, and she looked around as if suddenly realizing there were other people there. She looked at Yamamoto, who was still standing with a look of determination on his face, before her gaze fell on Miharu. Her face lit up as bright as a lighthouse as she ran over to the poor girl.

"Miharu! It's been so long~" Airi squealed as she hugged Miharu tightly. Miharu had a smile on her face, but she looked slightly uncomfortable as she was attacked by the overly pink girl.

"It's nice to see you too, Airi…" Miharu mumbled softly, her cheeks alit with embarrassment. She glanced over at her parents nervously.

And then, without any warning at all, Airi kissed her cheek.

It was like a nuclear bomb fell on the room. Miharu was as pale as a ghost as Airi continued to hug her and nuzzle her all over her face. Fear was in her eyes as she glanced over at her parents who were as stiff as wood. Her mother's mouth was a straight line and her father looked like he was going to explode.

Gokudera's father growled as he pushed Gokudera aside and stalked towards Miharu and Airi. Gokudera winced as he was shoved back into the wall and his abused back screamed in pain. He let out a small whimper as he slid down the wall to curl into a little ball. He didn't care about what was going on anymore. He didn't give a shit about Airi, and he only knew Miharu as Yamamoto's wife.

_Wife. _Just the word broke Gokudera even more than he already was. He had given up _everything _for Yamamoto and for what? Just for the only person he'd ever loved to get married to someone else. Gokudera wondered if Yamamoto even loved him. He doubted it. Now that he thought about it, nothing Yamamoto had ever done could be counted as him loving Gokudera.

Tears spilled down his cheeks quite suddenly as he curled even tighter to himself. He suddenly felt alone. Nobody in this world loved him. Not his father, not Yamamoto, definitely not Hibari though the man said otherwise. The only person who had loved him died twenty-one years ago which had started Gokudera's life in hell.

For probably the first time in his life, Gokudera seriously considered committing suicide.

Nobody would care. No one would miss him. He probably wouldn't even get a funeral. His body would just be dumped in some hole on the side of the road. His father would probably call his death a weight of his shoulders and start bringing even more women home now that he didn't have to worry about his fag of a son. Hibari would forget about him almost instantly. And Yamamoto…

Yamamoto would just live on happily ever after with his new wife.

Gokudera suddenly felt an intense hatred for both Yamamoto and Miharu. Especially Miharu. That girl had taken everything from him, had stolen the only person he'd ever loved in this world, had the money that Gokudera didn't. Had the money that Yamamoto wanted.

Gokudera lifted his head to glare at her. If he lived long enough, she was the top person on his choke to death list.

Suddenly someone was kneeling next to him and was putting their hand on his shoulder. Gokudera flinched away violently, not in the mood to deal with people who didn't care about him anyway. He was still glaring even though tears were still falling down his face.

His glare only intensified when he saw Yamamoto.

"Get the fuck away from me," Gokudera growled, not caring that his voice was shaking. If Yamamoto was trying to comfort him in some way, it was too late for that. Yamamoto thought that he was so special, his father going bankrupt. At least he had a father that cared for him! At least he had a job that people would appreciate him for! That was more than Gokudera was ever going to have.

Yamamoto gave him a concerned look, his gaze filled with pain.

"Hayato, please listen to me—"

Gokudera's fist reacted before his brain, coming up quickly to sock Yamamoto in the cheek. The man stumbled backwards, shock and hurt in his expression. Gokudera felt no pity. He'd given all of his pity away already, and he wasn't going to give it to someone who just threw it away like thrash anyway.

"Why should I?" Gokudera hissed. "What have you ever done for me? You have taken advantage of me, that's what you've done! Just like every other damn person in my life!"

His tears were flowing freely now and he could feel himself shaking. What did he do to deserve this? What had he ever done in his horrible life that made him deserve this?

"Hayato, I haven't—"

"Shut the fuck up!" Gokudera interrupted again, screaming now. "You made me fall in love with a jackass like you! And then you just threw me away when you were done! I bet this marriage isn't arranged at all, you just wanted me to pity you so that you could coax me into bed! You never cared about me; all you wanted was sex and money! You greedy asshole!"

Suddenly Yamamoto was shoving his hand in Gokudera's face. Gokudera flinched back as he tried to focus on Yamamoto's hand, wondering if Yamamoto was going to slap him. Then his blood turned cold.

It was his ring. Gokudera knew it was. It wasn't some cheap copy of it either; Gokudera knew that ring inside and out. It was the real deal.

"If I didn't care about you, would I still have this?" Yamamoto spoke softly, his eyes shimmering with pain but also desperation. He needed Gokudera to believe him.

"What if you just kept it to hock it…?" Gokudera was still arguing, but he had lost his steam. He knew that Yamamoto wouldn't be wearing it if he was just going to sell it.

"Why would I be wearing it if I was?" Yamamoto murmured, his hand coming up to stroke Gokudera's cheek gently. "Please listen to me, Hayato. I love you so much, much more than I can convey by words. I was a really stupid idiot when I rejected you at the wedding; I've been regretting that choice ever since. I can never stop thinking about you and I want to be with you so much. You don't know how happy you made me that night."

Gokudera was frozen in shock. Yamamoto was crying now too, and he could tell they weren't fake tears.

Raging emotions suddenly piled in Gokudera. He wanted to believe Yamamoto so much; he needed to know that the man he loved truly loved him back. But he was still slightly doubtful. How did he know that Yamamoto wouldn't just reject him again?

"Please forgive me for being so stupid, Hayato. I love you so much."

Gokudera felt his face being pulled towards Yamamoto, but he wanted it too much to care anymore. Even if Yamamoto was pulling a bluff, Gokudera couldn't stand being apart from him anymore. He had fallen completely for this idiot, and as long as he took him Gokudera realized that he could hardly care if Yamamoto actually liked him back. He just needed to know that he was wanted. Gokudera clung onto Yamamoto desperately as they kissed.

Suddenly a growl sounded by Gokudera's ear and he froze, taking his lips off of Yamamoto's. He didn't even get the chance to turn and look at his father when he felt an exploding pain in his side. He looked at Yamamoto in disbelief as the man screamed desperately at him.

Gokudera struggled to hear what he was saying. All he could see was Yamamoto's mouth moving in what looked like the syllables of his name. It looked and felt like everything was happening in slow motion.

And then there was nothing but darkness.

* * *

><p>Up until that point, Yamamoto hadn't really been paying attention to anything that had been happening around them. All he could focus on was Gokudera.<p>

That is, until Gokudera's father came into the picture.

Apparently, Gokudera's father had been fighting with Miharu's father for coming at her. Gokudera's dad apparently had a deep hatred for gays after what his son had done and had tried to teach Airi and Miharu a lesson. Miharu's dad hadn't cared about her having a girlfriend; what he did care about was that she had lied to him. He had fiercely protected his daughter and Airi which had made Gokudera's father yell at him about something like "look what happens when you let your child love like that!" and then point in Gokudera's general direction, which brought everyone's attention to Gokudera and Yamamoto who were having their make-up kiss in the corner.

But Yamamoto didn't care about all of that. What he _did_ care about was that Gokudera's father had come at them with a knife. Before anyone could react, that knife had ended up in Gokudera's side.

Yamamoto was pale. Gokudera was staring at him with absolute shock and he was looking right back at him with probably that same exact expression. Then his brain kicked in and he realized that Gokudera had been_**stabbed**_by his own father.

"Hayato!" He called desperately, but Gokudera was now limp in his arms.

_**Then**_ he began to panic.

He stood up desperately, with Gokudera in his arms, not sure what to do. He should call the police! And the ambulance! But what if they didn't make it in time? Panic wrapped around his brain and he barely saved Gokudera and himself from another stab by Hiroto.

"What the hell are you doing, boy?" Hiroto hissed as he circled Yamamoto. "That fag is _my_ son and he's mine to dispose of!"

"How can you talk like that?" Yamamoto screeched while dodging Hiroto's crazy stabbing again. "He's your flesh and blood!"

"I don't care about that kid," Hiroto smirked. "He wasn't meant to be born, anyway. I'm just returning him to his place!"

Yamamoto's back hit the wall and Hiroto advanced on him, smirking like a wild animal. In a last desperate act, Yamamoto turned his back on the man. At least he'd die protecting the one he loved; if Gokudera wasn't dead already. He shakily kissed Gokudera's unconscious lips.

"I love you," Yamamoto whispered and kept his eyes open on his lover as he waited for the end to come.

But it didn't.

"You get your dirty hands away from my son!" That voice was Kenta's. Yamamoto slowly turned around and looked at the scene in front of him in astonishment.

Kenta had jumped Hiroto and was now fighting to get the knife out of the man's hand. Airi was also pummeling Gokudera's father from the other side, her over-mascaraed eyes shining in determination as her pink lips pointed down in a frown. Miharu was looking on with fear as her mother held her.

It took Yamamoto a second to realize that Kenta was referring to him when he said 'son'. It took him another one to realize that these nice people were fighting for Hayato. _His_ Hayato. They were fighting for someone they didn't even know because they considered Yamamoto family and accepted that he loved Gokudera. Yamamoto could feel his eyes well up with tears.

After Kenta had successfully gotten the knife out of Hiroto's grasp, he gave the knife to Sayoko and walked over to Yamamoto. As Airi sat on Hiroto's back and hit him with her fists, Kenta placed a hand on Yamamoto's shoulder and looked down at Gokudera.

"We want you to know that we don't at all mind that you love this boy. We were glad to have you in this family for the short time that you were." Kenta smiled kindly. "We're withdrawing from the marriage. To repay your father for giving us his son, we will pay him all that he needs to pay off his bankruptcy."

Yamamoto gaped at Kenta as his words processed in his head. What…?

"You… you don't have to-!"

"Yes, we do. Now get that boy to the hospital before he bleeds to death," Kenta interrupted.

Being reminded of the situation at hand, and the fact that Gokudera's blood was running into his shirt, Yamamoto fiercely thanked Kenta for everything. He looked over at Miharu and gave her an extremely thankful look. She only smiled and waved him on before Yamamoto ran out of the house.

While he was running, Yamamoto tore off a piece of his shirt and pressed it to Gokudera's wound in a futile attempt to stop any more blood from coming out of it. Yamamoto was panicking, since a lot of his lover's blood was already all over him, but he tried to keep his cool as he took the quickest route he knew to the hospital.

"Please hang in there, Gokudera," he murmured softly.

**(A/N) I'm mean because I'm giving you another cliff hanger! 8D But don't worry; I already have the next chapter typed up so you won't have to wait for it~**


	12. Chapter 12

**(A/N) Hey everyone! :D I'm sad to say that this is the last chapter, but I added as much fluff that was alienly possible into it to make up for all of the things they've been through throughout the story ;D I thank everyone for sticking with me through the whole thing and I thank AdaraLove for taking the time to view some of the chapters that I was unsure of I hope this story has been enjoyable, and I'll hopefully see you guys again!**

"_Love is like an earthquake-unpredictable, a little scary, but when the hard part is over you realize how lucky you truly are."_

–_Seneca_

Gokudera woke up in a hospital bed.

Immediately on his consciousness, Gokudera felt woozy and a dull ache in his side. He wanted to fall back asleep but, as he was trying to do so, two thoughts hit him at once. One was that he for some reason couldn't remember anything that had happened after he and Yamamoto had been having their make-up kiss. There was a big blank in his mind. He obviously wasn't at Miharu's house anymore since he didn't hear his father shouting.

The second thought was that there was someone crying next to him.

Both of these reasons combined forced Gokudera to open his eyes.

At first, he couldn't see anything but white. He wondered if there was something wrong with his eyes, before they focused and he realized that he was staring up at a white ceiling with white walls surrounding it and that he himself was wearing a white gown type thing under white sheets. Everything was so white that he almost wished he hadn't opened his eyes. However, the white told him one thing.

He was in a hospital.

Now that Gokudera knew where he was, and he had assured himself that his brain was still working through the wooziness that he felt coursing through his body, he turned his head to look for the source of the crying. He almost immediately found it.

It stood out so well that Gokudera almost fainted from such a contrast. It was like a flock of blackbirds were flying around in Antarctica. He strained to focus his tired and woozy eyes to get details on whom or what was the contrast.

His heart nearly stopped when he did.

Yamamoto was sitting next to his bedside, his black hair what had caught Gokudera's attention originally. He was squeezing Gokudera's hand tightly (Gokudera wondered how come he couldn't feel that until now) and was crying heavily. Gokudera couldn't see that detail; he felt it because Yamamoto's tears were falling right onto his hand.

Gokudera stared at the man he loved for a while, before his heart couldn't stand to see Yamamoto in so much pain anymore. He opened his mouth to speak, and for a moment nothing came out. Then, as he forced his vocal cords to work, an ugly croak came out of Gokudera's throat.

"Yamamoto?"

Yamamoto moved so quickly that Gokudera couldn't even follow it. His eyes were too strained and tired from lack of use, damn it! But, however it happened, Yamamoto had ended up right up against the hospital bed; his hands on Gokudera's cheeks and his lips on Gokudera's. Gokudera could feel his lover's tears drip down his own face as Yamamoto nuzzled his cheek.

"Hayato, oh god Hayato, I thought you'd never wake up!" Yamamoto sobbed, taking his lips off of Gokudera's as he hugged him tightly. Gokudera struggled to raise his arms to hug Yamamoto back, but a sharp pain in his side prevented him from doing anything. He winced.

"What the hell happened?" Gokudera croaked; narrowing his eyes as that ugly noise came out of him again. Yamamoto laughed at his expression. He rubbed his thumb against Gokudera's cheek.

"Your father stabbed you with a knife," Yamamoto started. "Kenta and Airi jumped him and I just heard yesterday that they got him arrested for child abuse and rape." At this point, Yamamoto looked at Gokudera with an apologetic look before hugging him tightly. This told Gokudera that his lover knew what his father had done to him and he looked down in shame. Yamamoto stroked his fingers through Gokudera's hair as he continued.

"I took you and ran as fast as I could to this hospital; I'm so glad I made it in time! You've been asleep for three days; I was so scared you'd never wake up!"

Gokudera took a moment to process the information. He was still groggy, after all, and it all seemed unreal; like he was watching a movie of his life. Airi, that little slutty whore, had actually tried to protect him? Maybe there was more to Airi than what Gokudera had seen on their short time together. Miharu obviously saw something in her, after all.

But then again, maybe everyone was just crazy.

"You've been sitting in that stool this entire time?" Gokudera asked, suddenly wondering about it. Now that he got a close look at his lover, he looked skinny and had deep bags under his eyes. Yamamoto laughed and scratched the back of his neck awkwardly.

"Um… yeah, sort of!"

Well, Gokudera blew his top at that.

"You idiot! You haven't eaten at all, have you? What if tomorrow the whole world ran out of food? What the hell would you do? It would be stupid to stay at my bedside until I woke up and then have you die a week later anyway! And sleeping! Do you _want_ to become an insomniac? Because I'm telling you, that's not fun!"

Yamamoto just sat there and took the whole rant; smiling and laughing at some parts. When Gokudera finally ran out of steam, Yamamoto nuzzled Gokudera's cheek again.

"It's great to have you back, Hayato~"

Gokudera just sighed and maybe just slightly nuzzled his cheek back against Yamamoto's. He would never say this, but he was touched that Yamamoto had faithfully stayed by his bedside. And maybe he was a little glad to wake up and have his lover there for him. But he wouldn't say that either.

"You're an idiot." Yamamoto smiled; as if that was the greatest compliment he'd ever received.

"Yeah, but this idiot's got a surprise for you~"

Gokudera tilted his head curiously as Yamamoto detached himself from him and walked over to a bag that was lying next to the doorway of the hospital room. He dug through it for a long time and Gokudera could only watch him in exasperation as he wondered what the hell was all in that bag.

Finally, Yamamoto found what he was looking for and hid it behind his back as he walked back up to Gokudera's bed. He had a really stupid, goofy smile on his face and Gokudera could only snort.

"Would you get on with it?" He snapped, though it wasn't in irritation. Yamamoto just laughed and waved him off before clearing his throat.

"Hayato Gokudera, I stand before you today to ask for your forgiveness in being so stupid in rejecting the only person I've ever loved. After everything that's gone wrong, I feel lucky to still be able to have the chance to correct my mistake." Yamamoto knelt down on one knee and took out the object behind his back. It was a small box that he was now holding open with his fingers. Inside was a ring. But not just any ring; it was Gokudera's ring. The one he had left on Yamamoto's bedside table all of those months ago. Gokudera's breath caught in his throat and any snide comment he was going to make to Yamamoto's speech died in his throat.

"Hayato, will you marry me?"

For a moment, Gokudera couldn't speak. So many questions were whirling around in his head, and he felt like if he opened his mouth all that would come out would be tangled and stuttered gibberish. Yamamoto was married to Miharu, wasn't he? And if not anymore, how did he get out of it?

But, if he really thought about it, Gokudera realized he really didn't care at all.

"Yes! Yes, I will!" He practically screamed as he nodded his head violently. He'd never been this happy in his entire life.

Yamamoto grinned wildly and sprang up from his kneeled position to hug Gokudera tightly. Gokudera gritted his teeth past the pain and hugged him backed with all of his might. He was almost willing to admit that tears were welling up in his eyes. That's just how damn happy he was.

After a while, Yamamoto leaned back and took the ring out of its box. Gokudera noticed that his eyes were brimming with tears as well. Yamamoto took Gokudera's left hand and slipped the ring on his fourth finger. Gokudera held out his hand as he looked at it. This ring's usual spot was on the middle finger of his right hand, but it looked _right_ where it was now. Like it was always meant to fit there, but Gokudera had just never realized it.

"Do you like it?" Yamamoto asked teasingly, hoisting himself up on the hospital bed as he wrapped an arm around Gokudera and pulled him to his chest. Gokudera leaned his head on Yamamoto's shoulder and snorted.

"Of course I like it, you idiot, it's my ring!"

Yamamoto just laughed as he raised his arm to hold Gokudera's hand in his.

* * *

><p>Two weeks later found the engaged couple in a hotel room in Spain.<p>

Gokudera had been discharged a week ago and Yamamoto had faithfully been there. However, instead of going home, Yamamoto had booked them onto a flight to Spain. When Gokudera demanded why, Yamamoto pointed at Gokudera's ring and smiled.

He didn't complain after that.

Now they were cuddling against each other after a night that they'd been waiting for since five months ago. Yamamoto rolled onto his side and wrapped his spacey lover in his arms. He grinned as Gokudera barely turned his head to look at him. Yamamoto had discovered that sex always tired Gokudera out to the point that he was too lazy to even move his head.

Yamamoto found this absolutely adorable.

He completely engulfed the small Italian in his arms and buried his face in Gokudera's hair as he tangled their legs together. As Yamamoto breathed in his lover's scent, he couldn't remember a time when he was happier. Everything was perfect now. There was nothing that prevented them from loving each other with all of their might.

"Hey Hayato? Did you buy a suit for tomorrow?" Yamamoto asked, pressing his nose gently against Gokudera's ear. It was only when he didn't respond and Yamamoto looked over him that he realized is lover was fast asleep.

Yamamoto smiled and snuggled into Gokudera once more before falling asleep himself.

* * *

><p>Gokudera was practically jumping out of his skin.<p>

He'd been woken early in the morning by a very enthusiastic Yamamoto who had been determined to help him with every single thing to make sure that today went absolutely perfect. Gokudera didn't really mind, as he was sleepily dragged out of bed, dressed, fed breakfast and two painkillers for his back (downed with his morning cup of black coffee), and basically fawned over by his fiancée.

No, in fact, Gokudera didn't mind this at all. He could only wonder how Yamamoto could possibly have this much energy in the morning.

After his third cup of coffee, Gokudera was finally awake to be as nervous as hell as Yamamoto's father drove the soon to be married couple to the church. His fingers kept twitching in Yamamoto's hand and his eyes were looking around everywhere. He wasn't sure why he was so nervous; he just _was. _He'd technically never been married before, and to be married to _Yamamoto_ was just something that he'd never expected to happen.

To tell the truth, he'd never been this nervous in his whole life.

Yamamoto squeezed his hand gently and pressed his nose to Gokudera's ear. Gokudera had no idea why Yamamoto had grown so attached to that; he did it whenever he possibly could. But Gokudera couldn't really complain, since he kind of liked it. But Yamamoto would never hear that from him.

"Are you okay?" Yamamoto asked softly, rubbing his thumb against Gokudera's.

Gokudera could barely nod. How wasn't Yamamoto nervous at all? Maybe because he'd been married before? But goddamn it, he should count this marriage as a different experience! It was to _him _after all, and Gokudera would like to think that was special. He was the person who'd walk out on a wedding if he didn't like the person.

"I'm nervous too," Yamamoto murmured. Gokudera suddenly had a scary thought that Yamamoto could mind read. He looked at his lover almost shyly, his eyes giving away just how nervous he was.

Yamamoto smiled and turned Gokudera's head to give him an Eskimo kiss.

"You'll be fine, Hayato! We've been waiting for this moment, remember?" Yamamoto stated in assurance, his finger tracing Gokudera's jaw. Gokudera wondered why he was letting Yamamoto shower him with affection like this. Maybe he really needed it at the moment.

Or maybe he really had changed after everything.

After what seemed like an eternity, they finally arrived at the church where they were to be wedded. It wouldn't be a big wedding; as far as Gokudera knew, the only people that would be there were Miharu and her family, Airi, and Yamamoto's dad. Gokudera couldn't help but feel a little twinge of sadness at the fact that none of this people were originally from his family.

Gokudera shook his head violently to get that thought out of his head. These people _were_ his family now.

While Yamamoto's father talked to the pastor, Yamamoto led Gokudera to the place they were supposed to stand. As they stood there waiting for the pastor, Gokudera looked out at the crowd. Everyone was there already, and no extra people that Gokudera didn't know about. That made him relax a little. Getting married in front of people you knew was nerve-racking enough without strangers being there as well.

Suddenly, Gokudera's eyes caught movement in the shadows by the back entrance of the church. Gokudera squinted and could see the faint outline of a person. The light suddenly shifted and Gokudera could see the right half of the person's face. Gokudera's breath caught in his throat.

It was Hibari.

Noticing Gokudera's gaze, Hibari looked up to meet it. They stared at each other for a while before Hibari shot Gokudera a small, sad smile.

Gokudera knew Hibari. He _**never**_ smiled. But now he was and that smile told him everything. Hibari _had_ truly loved Gokudera. He just didn't know how to show it, much like Gokudera didn't. The smile also told him that Hibari was excepting Gokudera's love for someone else. Gokudera tried to portray as much thankfulness as he could muster into his gaze.

Hibari smirked and nodded before ducking out of the church and disappearing.

Gokudera looked after him, feeling a sudden admiration for Hibari. He had accepted Gokudera's heart, when Gokudera himself had been death threatening Yamamoto's wife just a few weeks ago out of jealousy. Hibari truly was someone to look up to and Gokudera realized he was proud to have him as a friend.

Yamamoto leaned down to whisper in Gokudera's ear, effectively bringing him out of his musings.

"You know, I've wanted to tell you this before but, you look really hot in that suit~"

Yamamoto was lucky that Gokudera was too embarrassed and nervous to punch him in the face.

"S-shut up you idiot!" Gokudera whispered angrily, his face a shade of bright red as Hibari was pushed to the back of his thoughts. If this was supposed to help his nerves, it wasn't working! What kind of person just goes out and _says_ something like that? Well, Yamamoto obviously…

Before Yamamoto could say something worse (Gokudera didn't want to think about that), the pastor finally stood before them and the wedding started.

"Takeshi Yamamoto, do you take Hayato Gokudera to be your lovely wedded husband?" The pastor asked, after he finished the whole first part of the speech, turning to Yamamoto. Yamamoto, in turn, faced Gokudera and squeezed his hand tightly before saying without hesitation:

"I do."

Gokudera couldn't help but smile.

"And Hayato Gokudera, do you take Takeshi Yamamoto to be your lovely wedded husband?" Gokudera looked at his lover, finding encouragement in the bright smile he was sending Gokudera's way. Following Yamamoto's example, Gokudera faced him and spoke softly but clearly.

"I do."

Yamamoto's absolutely happy smile made everything up to this point worth it.

At the pastor's guidance, Yamamoto once again slipped Gokudera's ring onto Gokudera's finger and Gokudera in turn slipped a ring Yamamoto had bought on his lover's finger. His hands were shaking so badly that he was surprised he even got the damn thing on in the first place. But when he did, he looked up at Yamamoto with a shy smile that Yamamoto was happily mirroring.

"You are now wedded. You may kiss the spouse."

And kiss they did. Yamamoto held Gokudera tightly and Gokudera placed his hands on Yamamoto's elbows as they both leaned forward to meet each other half-way. When they broke apart, Gokudera wasn't sure if that was the audience cheering or himself.

Yamamoto laughed happily and picked Gokudera up bridal style. Gokudera hit his chest lightly as his cheeks turned a light shade of pink, but at the moment he didn't give a damn. He was married! Him! Hayato Gokudera had let his walls down enough to actually marry someone!

Wrapping his arms around Yamamoto's neck, Gokudera let his husband carry him past the audience (Tsuyoshi was crying and Gokudera almost laughed at what an enthusiastic parent he was) and all the way back to the hotel room where they shared their happiness and wedding night exactly how they wanted.

* * *

><p>When they returned from Spain, the newly wedded couple stayed at Tsuyoshi's house while they planned what they were going to do with their lives. They both decided to live in a beach house somewhere, maybe in Italy since Yamamoto had always wanted to go there and Gokudera was from there so spoke the language. When Yamamoto brought up kids, Gokudera flushed and said quickly that it was way too soon to be thinking about that.<p>

Yamamoto just smiled and went with his husband's request.

Before they settled down in a house, however, they decided that they wanted to travel a lot of places. Gokudera had always wanted to go out and see the world, and Yamamoto was interested in everything that wasn't Japan.

Before all of that even, before they even left Tsuyoshi's, there was one thing that they still had to do.

* * *

><p>Yamamoto stood with his lover by the bus stop as the waited for the bus to come. It was early afternoon on a spring day, so it was a nice day to be standing around outside. Yamamoto kept trying to hug Gokudera, but Gokudera would always dodge him at the last second; saying that it was too hot to be hugging. Yamamoto just playfully pouted and started chasing his husband around the bus stop.<p>

When the bus finally came, they were both flushed and out of breath and all too happy to sit down. They took two seats that were next to each other but cut off from the other seats. Gokudera laid his head on Yamamoto's shoulder and Yamamoto wrapped his arm around Gokudera and rested his hand on his husband's hip as he drew small circles in it with his finger. Yamamoto's other hand was clasped in Gokudera's.

The couple was ready to just sit there and let the bus take them as far as it would go.

**(A/N) I feel like I should say something with the end of this, but I can't think of anything! I just hope this took care of everyone's fluff need ;D Oh, and did anyone catch that I actually used the title in this chapter? XD" Thank you guys all again for reading~**


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